#so many more but i love these ones specifically
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
another black sails fantheory ive seen around a lot is that silver is jewish, usually specifically sephardic, but despite its prevalence i havent been able to find anybodys actual thesis statements about it. so if there are Essays out there (especially by somebody with more historical-slash-judaism knowledge than i with my meager wiki-crawls) i would love Links
however once again ive pondered a bunch of the stuff ive noticed personally, about mr john "if thats even your real name" silver. and honestly at this point id be kind of surprised if it Wasnt the actual context the writers shaped his character around. everything just seems to come together really neatly
hes impressively literate for his circumstances/time period, and really good at quickly memorizing large amounts of text. a solid religious education could very well explain this
specifically– and this is one of the things that feels like a huge bit of intentional subtext to me– the scene where hes hiding with the lepers and memorizing the urca schedule REALLY seems to evoke someone reading scripture under a prayer shawl
not only does he not know how to cook pork, but does not even seem to know what pork looks like when finished cooking
the pretext flint used to get his crew to hunt down the hamiltons' ship was that it was carrying sephardic riches. this is a completely throwaway detail we learn secondhand, in a story where there are very, very few completely throwaway details
silver speaks at least some spanish. this comes up Once and goes totally unquestioned by everyone around him, likely because they think he just picked it up as a sailor. he almost certainly has not been at sea long enough for this to be the case. speaking ladino as a first language on the other hand would give him a huge leg up (so to speak.) in that department
further point. around the time period of the show, the biggest sephardic community in the world lived in thessaloniki in modern-day greece. it was:
a) one of the most major seaports in the ottoman empire
b) a famous center for learning, which boasted 100% literacy of its jewish population
and c) despite its long and prosperous history under ottoman rule, beginning to decline along with the rest of the empire, for many interconnected reasons, including but not limited to: Problems With the Governments Handling of the Textile Industry (where have we heard that before)
lotta unrest. religious schisms and doomsday prophecies. reactionary groups of overempowered soldiers attacking civilians for stress relief (again. where have we heard that before). people, unsurprisingly, started leaving
so if you did want, against john silvers express wishes. to theorize a backstory for a surprisingly educated stowaway of Mystery Origin, who has Mystery Trauma and doesnt want anybody to know who he is or where he comes from, and which would give a new level of relevance to all the greek stuff that permeates the show (down to the actual name of the thing!), along with containing parallels to several other backstories and events in the show proper,
Well this one make sense i think 👍
616 notes
·
View notes
Text
TRAINING SEASON
18+ / mdi
summary: unfortunately for vernon, all his friends were gym bros, leading to constant harassment for him to join the lifestyle. after weeks of twelve men constantly bugging at him to accompany them, all it takes is one girl for vernon to finally give in.
content: strangers2friends2lovers!vernon, fitness!reader, vernon's kind of a loser here, reader is friends with the other 12, vernon's not into fitness, downbad!vernon, reader is implied to be into fitness but her body's not really described in any specific way, afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, handjob, kind of sub!vernon, dry humping, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 9.3k
a/n: not really sure why i keep writing vernon like a loser with no game lol im sure in real life he's got a ton of game lets just pretend he doesnt<3
masterlist
"C'mon, Nonnie. Come with us. Just this once."
"You don't even have to work out, we just want-"
"No, if I have to work out, he has to work out. You guys have been dragging me with you to engage in your masochist tendencies for weeks. He deserves the same treatment."
Vernon simply groaned at all the noise, uncaring of what Seungkwan, Mingyu and Jeonghan were saying, respectively. Instead, he opted to cover his face with a pillow, attempting to muffle all the noise his friends were making so early in the morning.
Then suddenly, the comfort of his blanket left him, followed by his pillow being pulled from his hold and used to deliver a swift smack against his head before being whisked away and landing on the opposite side of the room.
One more, he groaned, but this time louder. His eyes opened to find the culprit standing above him, squinting due to the sudden surge of sunlight into his vision at having opened his eyes.
"Dude, stop being a lazy piece of shit and come with us," nagged Joshua.
God, how many of them were in his apartment? It was supposed to be just him and Seungkwan who lived here, where did the rest come from?
"What time is it?" he finally grumbled out, sitting up. It's not like he had any options anyway.
"It's 9:16 in the morning," informed him Wonwoo from outside his bedroom. God, was he here too?
"Why are all of you in my apartment? Seungkwan, we agreed that-"
"We all have keys, you idiot. Now get up. We're going to the gym," this time it was Chan.
"Do all twelve of you go to the same gym at the same time? God, they must hate you."
Vernon finally sat up against his headboard, head counting a total of five of his friends currently in his room, assuming the rest to be either in his kitchen or living room.
God damn you, Boo Seungkwan.
"We're pretty well liked, actually."
A few of the members nodded along to Mingyu's rebuttal.
Yeah, that made sense. Twelve muscly and more than objectively attractive men were likely magnets for clientele over at the gym.
All the more reason to not join them.
All his friends were fitness addicts (sans Jeonghan, maybe). Simply gym bros who had developed what Vernon liked to call an unhealthy habit to exercise — despite how ironic that statement sounded. Vernon, on the other hand, had never been one to put too much emphasis on fitness. He liked his build as it was; some slightly toned muscle and a slim frame. He never really saw any need to bulk up like most of his friends, so he never gained an interest for it.
Yet his friends had tried to convince him to join them, time and time again.
Jeonghan had been the one other friend they had to convince to join them. Other than Vernon, Jeonghan was the only other member of their large friend group who had a proclivity against the gym. But his love for spending time with his friends had won him over, making him tag along just for the mere purpose of not feeling FOMO.
Now, Vernon did not have that issue. He didn't mind missing out on hang outs. He was a pretty lowkey, chill guy. Staying at home unless it was vital for him to leave, now that was more up his alley.
Except now he had twelve men nagging at him to get up, put on some basketball shorts and a flimsy tank top and join them at their gym. It had been a few weeks of this insistence, leading to this moment — all his friends breaking into his and Seungkwan's apartment in order to drag him out.
And the sad thing was that it worked. Apparently it took twenty-three consecutive days of bugging at Vernon to convince him of doing something he didn't want to do for him to budge. He hoped this didn't become some sort of pattern.
~
Vernon felt out of place.
All his friends had arrived in extremely casual fashion, immediately comfortable in the familiar environment and dispersing themselves in their respective smaller groups.
Meanwhile, even after half an hour of being there, Vernon felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb.
The agreement they'd settled on was that Vernon would try out the gym. If he didn't like it, — more like, if he truly despised it, in Seungcheol's words — they all agreed to leave him alone (other than Jeonghan, who insisted he'd move into his closet and haunt him until he came back).
So, really all Vernon had to do was hang out for an hour or two and then let his friends down easy.
It should've been easy enough considering how out of place he felt surrounded by other unfamiliar gym bros in their natural habitat.
"Dude, at least try not to look like you have no idea what a gym is."
His thoughts were interrupted by Mingyu who suddenly materialized next to him.
"Huh?"
"You've been standing here staring into the distance for five minutes. Here, just follow me. I just finished my cardio You can do arms with me and Seok today."
The statement felt like a threat. Looking at Mingyu, at his muscles, was enough to tire Vernon out. Was he supposed to keep up with that?
Still, Vernon shrugged to himself and followed after Mingyu. Something which he regretted soon after realizing it'd take an entire flight of stairs to get to what he presumed to be the area of the gym where they usually did arms. There, he found Seokmin and Chan, seemingly already in the middle of some set of some workout while Jeonghan sat on a bench press with a coffee in hand.
"You're actually gonna work out? I thought you'd just go to the spa room," commented Jeonghan upon spotting him approaching.
"There's a spa here? Sick."
"And you can use it after a few sets with me. Follow me, let's go figure out how much you can lift," once again, Vernon began to trail after Mingyu towards the stack of dumbbells on a mirrored wall nearby.
"Oh, Y/N was looking for you earlier, by the way," Seokmin stopped Mingyu before he could walk away.
"Y/N? What for?"
"Your bet, you idiot. She said she can bench press 80 pounds now. You owe her $50," interjected Chan, setting down the two dumbbells he'd been holding.
"Nah, no way," Mingyu crossed his arms, "Where's she at?"
"Are we going to get the weights or-"
"Hold on, 'Sol," Gyu interrupted him, "I have something to settle."
"She just went to fill up her water. She should be back soon," added Seokmin.
"Who's Y/N?", Vernon asked.
"Wouldn't you like to know?", snickered Jeonghan.
"What does that even me-"
"Chan, just hand me those weights. Vernon should be able to lift those," Mingyu reached over to Chan, grabbing the dumbbells he'd been using with an ease that made it seem like they were weightless.
But this theory proved to be wrong the moment Mingyu attempted to hand them over to an unsuspecting Vernon. Embarrassingly enough, the most predictable thing happened.
But what was most embarrassing was the timing. Suddenly the main character of the conversation showed up, just as Vernon's hands failed to hold onto the heavy weights, dropping them at his feet and barely missing a hospital visit by a few inches. His hands had stupidly attempted to catch them mid flight, but it only resulted in him almost falling over, body now bent down as he caught himself before falling.
That's when he saw an unfamiliar pair of converse standing in front of him.
"Hey- oh, shit!" were the first words he heard from you just as he created the biggest clanking sound resonating through the entire floor.
Looking up with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment on his face, he found you standing right in front of him. Like his own, your expression showed surprise, though he also found amusement in it. In any other situation, he may have laughed along with you (and the rest of his friends who he heard cackling from behind him), but this instance was different.
Because Vernon hadn't expected for a girl his friends had merely mentioned in passing to look like you. Makeup-less and in some worn band shirt with some tiny spandex underneath, you had Vernon's mouth catching flies.
Vernon didn't have a type. Was never one to care for appearances too much. But he suddenly found himself gulping at the sight in front of him. Your eyes stated down at him with some sort of wonder, and he felt a sickly feeling in him that told him he wanted them on him at all times from then on — even if it was due to something embarrassing he'd done.
An incredibly out of character thought for Vernon to have, but here he was.
Instead of picking up the dumbbells he'd stupidly dropped and introducing himself as he usually would've done, his brain malfunctioned along with his body. Losing balance as he straightened himself up, he stammered out what he believed to be a greeting (though he wasn't too sure; he was too distracted by you) while Mingyu offered him support to properly stand.
"Hi?", you responded, "Sorry, was that my fault?", you turned to the other members with slight concern.
A soft slapping sound resounded as Mingyu patted Vernon on the back, chuckling over at your concerned expression.
"Nah, you're fine. Vernon's hand-eye coordination just isn't that good."
"Dude, you handed me like a hundred pounds with no warning!", Vernon recoiled from his touch, attempting to save some of his dignity.
"That was just forty on each dumbbell actually," corrected Chan.
Vernon groaned internally.
Thank you, Chan. Make him look like even more of a wimp than he already did.
"Uh, anyways. Hi, I'm Vernon," he extended his hand out dumbly.
"Oh, you're Vernon?," your hand squeezed his own (a feeling which Vernon would have to get back to later), "I've been looking forward to meeting you," you smiled before letting go.
"Uh, what?"
He was really killing it today.
"What Hansolie here means to say is, it's nice to meet you too," Mingyu interjected, "Now, onto more important matters - I want evidence," he said in reference to the previous subject.
"Not even a 'hello'? Not even gonna let me get to know your friend?", you looked over at him with a grin that Vernon was too flustered to return.
Before he could even consider interjecting, Mingyu grabbed onto your wrist, pulling you over to the bench press Jeonghan had been sitting on to demonstrate the skill Seokmin had declared you'd been looking to show off to Mingyu. Jeonghan got up as soon as you approached, giving you a grin that told Vernon you were familiar with each other before walking over to where Vernon was standing. He seemed to always keep some distance between himself and any actual exercise. Respectable.
Without even needing to be asked, Seokmin and Chan stood nearby, ready to spot you in case it were necessary while Mingyu helped you load the weights onto the bar.
"So. She's cute, huh?", Jeonghan leaned over to Vernon's side, voice low to ensure the others didn't hear.
"Huh?"
"Y/N. She's really pretty, isn't she?"
"Dude, shut up."
The elder simply snickered, going back to slurping at the basically empty cup of iced coffee he'd been nursing this entire time.
Vernon continued watching you, spacing out from any commentary the other boys had been giving you as you began a set, instead solely focused on you.
As you laid on the bench, your shirt rode up, exposing the tiniest spandex shorts that dug into the muscle hidden under them. Your back arched in order to lift the weighted bar, giving him perfect sight of your silhouette despite the baggy shirt you had on.
God, your body was sculpted ridiculously. Your body was toned, which showed through perfectly from the position you were currently in. The sweat dampening your clothes didn't help matters either.
Vernon wasn't one to thirst on a random Tuesday afternoon, yet here he was, eyes glued to you as if he hadn't just met you. He might've felt more guilty, but both you and his friends were too distracted to notice him, so he let himself indulge this one time.
But then Jeonghan interrupted again.
"Are you sure you don't think she's pretty?", he snickered.
"Fuck, fine! Yes, she's obviously very pretty. What do you want?", he took his eyes away from you to face the manifestation of annoying standing next to him, a satisfied grin on his face.
"Nothing. I was just wondering," he shrugged, lying through his teeth.
Meanwhile, two of his other friends were cheering you on while Mingyu half-heartedly attempted at trash talking you into failing. Even as you carried what to Vernon was incomprehensible weight, you cursed out at Mingyu, something which Vernon appreciated.
Fuck. You were cool.
You were pretty, clearly very confident, strong, got along with his friends, and just incredibly cool. And Vernon had only known you for like ten minutes.
Was this a crush? Did he have a crush on a girl he'd just met?
He was 26. Crushes were so high school, what the hell was happening to him?
"Dude, are you blushing?"
"Han, I swear to god-"
"Oh my god, you are!", the way his eyes lit up at the realization was like it was christmas morning to him. Jeonghan had a strange fascination with mischief Vernon never really understood.
"Who's blushing?"
And suddenly there was another presence next to him, coming to a halt to watch you on what was now your second set of bench presses.
"Nonnie's in love," Jeonghan snickered.
"Shit, with who? Wait, don't tell me," Hoshi stopped for a second to ponder before shaking his head as he gave up, "Never mind. Tell me."
Vernon shook his head. He was friends with idiots.
"Y/N!"
"Dude, not so loud!", Vernon's eyes widened, face only going back to its natural poker face when he noticed you were still being entertained by his three loud friends.
"Dude, wait, that makes sense. They'd make the perfect couple," Hoshi gasped at the revelation., "They're both movie freaks and couch potatoes. But Y/N's way cooler than Vernon," he added.
Jeonghan nodded along in agreement.
You were into movies? You didn't give him the vibe of a couch potato, though. I mean, you were lying there, immense weight on your hands as you challenged the biggest gym buff he knew.
Vernon was about to question them on this assessment. They'd clearly thought about this before, which he wasn't sure whether it was good news for his newfound crush or not. But before he could at least complain at the slight thrown at him, he heard cheering from the spot where he'd been watching you, finally turning back to face you.
"Dude, three sets of eighty pounds with your frame? You're crazy. You might actually be stronger than Mingyu," Seokmin praised you as he offered up a high-five.
"I can do 200 pounds-"
"But you're a tree. It doesn't count," Chan disregarded him, instead choosing to join Seokmin in dapping you up.
Vernon hadn't noticed as he watched you, but Hoshi and Jeonghan had also joined in, leaving him alone in watching you from a small distance away. He went back to feeling kind of out of place.
But he liked seeing his friends with you. It was odd. He'd met many of his friends' friends, but he always felt entirely indifferent about them.
You were different. Vernon felt himself smiling as he watched you snatch the $50 from Mingyu's hand and turn to Hoshi and Jeonghan with a triumphant smile on your face.
And then you looked past them, spotting him and walking the few steps over to him.
"So, gonna congratulate me, new guy?"
He scoffed in amusement.
"I'm new?"
"Here? Clearly. I have seniority at this gym. Now, be a gentleman and congratulate me on robbing your friend of $50."
Vernon couldn't help but return your satisfied smile. You were fun.
"Congrats. Well deserved," he chose to say. He needed to remain nonchalant after his earlier embarrassment.
"Now, c'mon. I'm buying everyone something from the snack bar to celebrate Gyu's defeat," you turned back to head over to the guys, Vernon now following along.
"Fifty's probably not gonna be enough for six people-", someone spoke, Vernon wasn't sure who, too focused on walking by your side.
"It's fine. Gyu'll pay the difference," you shrugged.
"Hey!"
Were you into him? Were you into Mingyu?
You'd been pretty friendly with all his friends that day, but it was impossible not to notice the special attention you paid to Mingyu. But then again, who didn't have a soft spot for Mingyu?
There was no indication you liked him, or that he'd even left some sort of impression on you. If anything, you probably remembered him as the idiot who almost took out both your and his foot. Or maybe as the dumbass who couldn't lift the measly forty-pound dumbbells Chan had been carrying with ease.
Meanwhile, you'd looked for Mingyu, looking far too happy to tease him and take his money.
Maybe Vernon was behind on the current dating world, but the two of you gave him more-than-friends vibes.
But then again, Mingyu held a flirtationship with literally everyone who came into his vicinity. Hell, he was pretty sure he'd at some point flirted with him without realizing it. Except this was an instance in which Vernon needed to be sure before he made a move. Not that he was too scared to do it or anything ...
Sadly for Vernon, he had been too much of a wuss to ask Mingyu about you directly, so he went for someone who he hoped wouldn't tease him.
"So, uhm, do you know Y/N?"
God, he sounded so needy. He was usually smoother than this. He had game. Right?
He'd decided that Joshua his safest bet. He was the only one out of all the guys who could maybe be normal about his curiosity about you.
Joshua could only chuckle at him. His eyes were too focused on scooping at the remnants of the fro-yo Vernon had bought him under the pretense of just hanging out. Casual.
"So you've met. You like her, huh?"
"Dude, what is this? Why does everyone keep asking me that? We've met once," Vernon frowned.
Was he that easy to read?
Joshua shrugged, "She seems like your type. She's single too."
"She is?"
"So you are interested," Joshua grinned.
He groaned. Did all his friends have to be such instigators? Men were the nosier gender, he was sure.
"Listen-"
"It's fine, 'Sol. I don't judge you. She's very pretty. Fun too."
"You talked to Jeonghan, didn't you?"
"Yeah. He told me you almost broke your foot in front of her and proceeded to fuck her with your eyes for like ten minutes straight. Not your finest moment."
Maybe Vernon's memory was failing him, but he was pretty sure those weren't the actual events that happened. Sure, he'd made the entire situation way more embarrassing in his head, but it hadn't been that bad. Right?
"I did not eye-fuck her," he rebutted, "I checked her out. I don't think she really noticed, though."
"Is that good? Wouldn't you rather just ask her out?"
"Uh, am I even her type?", Vernon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he reclined back on his chair, "She seemed to be kind of into Mingyu."
"Dude."
"Listen, it's just-"
"Mingyu just has that effect on people. They don't like each other. Not like that. They're just friends," clarified Joshua, "We all met when we started going to this gym last May. She just became closest to Gyu and Kyeom cause they practically live there."
"So they've never ..."
"No, man, I swear. You can ask Gyu. Or better yet, ask her out,."
"It's not that easy!", Vernon grumbled, hand crumbling the fro-yo container in his hand.
"Why not? You've never had trouble with girls. That's Channie. He's a mess," Josh chuckled.
There was just something about you. Vernon had never become this infatuated with someone. It was kind of embarrassing.
"She just ... She makes me nervous for some reason," Vernon admitted, "She's friends with all my best friends and I never even knew about her. She's funny and cool and confident, and-"
"And she's hot," finished Joshua for him.
"She's so fucking hot, man," Vernon groaned as Joshua chuckled.
"So, what, do you think she's out of your league or something?"
"Maybe? You tell me. I need an objective opinion," Vernon said with more seriousness than intended.
Joshua pretended to mull over it, hand scratching at chin as he started up to contemplate it up until Vernon groaned at him to stop.
"Dude, you're such an idiot. I'm not answering that. Just ask her out!"
All Joshua received in response was a muffled groan as Vernon let himself fall back on his chair. The dramatics felt necessary to him at that moment.
"So, are you going to keep going to the gym?", Joshua laughed at his friend.
"I'm a man on a mission."
"Lost?"
"Fuck! Wh- Oh, shit, hi. Sorry, you scared me," Vernon's hand clutched at his chest in surprise, ears slightly red in embarrassment.
Did he really have to embarrass himself every time he saw you?
"Sorry I keep catching you off guard," you chuckled, "You just looked kind of lost. You've been staring into space for the past three minutes."
"Oh, uh, right. It's only my second time here. I'm not sure where all the guys went," he mumbled.
Now facing you, he tried to take quick note of your appearance. You'd come from the opposite direction as him, meaning you'd likely only gotten here just now. That explained the lack of sweat and your pristine hair, as opposed to last time. It made him wonder what you looked like on a regular basis, outside of the context of the gym.
"Right. Well, they usually go to the basketball court on Sundays, so most of them are probably there now. I hate playing sports with Han and Boo, so I usually just avoid them," you explained.
You seemed to have a great hold on his friends' gym lifestyle.
"We could go look for them," you began, "Or we could hang out on our own."
You smiled at him expectantly. It was a cute and innocent smile, as if you'd been hoping for an opportunity to get him alone.
"Do you, uh, do you mean in the gym?"
You nodded, "C'mon. I'm sure none of the guys actually showed you around, did they?", he shook his head, "Men suck. I'll give you a tour, y'know since you're new," you extended your hand out to him, eyes expectant.
With no time (nor dignity) to wipe his hand of any possible sweat, he grabbed onto your own, gulping at your hold.
This was moving faster than he thought. But then again, you probably just felt comfortable around him due to his association with the rest of your friends. It must be that.
Once you made it out of the general area of the gym, you let go of his hand, now opting for walking side by side instead. The place was quite spacious, so it gave more than enough room for the two of you to take your time walking without getting into anyone's ways. Not that Vernon wanted to extend his time with you as much as possible or anything.
"So, how come you've never been here before?", you suddenly asked whilst showing him what you'd donned as the 'poser gym buff' part of the gym. It looked like it, considering it was filled with shirtless muscular men, all ignoring the blatant 'No Nudity Allowed' sign you'd just walked by.
"Uh, before I answer that - How much did the guys tell you about me?"
You chuckled, "Just, stuff. I'd rather hear it from you, though."
Then you smiled at him again. As if you had no idea it messed with his brain chemistry.
"Just, uhm, not really a gym guy like the other guys. Not sporty, like at all. Always got hit by balls in P.E. Kwan drags me to street basketball matches sometimes, but I always end up embarrassing myself. Oh, and I can't really lift, as you probably noticed the other day," he found himself rambling. Very unusual of him.
"Hmm. Yeah, I can see why you don't come to the gym with the rest of them," you laughed, "But I think you should. You bring a nice balance to whatever's going on with the rest."
"Well, uh, I could be persuaded," he made his attempt at flirting, internally cursing at himself while also praying that it didn't fall flat and force him to never show his face in front of you again.
"Oh, really? I think I could help with that," your tone turned a little softer as you gave him a suggestive smile, "Wanna go check out the pool with me? It's usually empty this time of day."
"Oh, uh, yes! I- uh, yeah," he mumbled his way through, gulping when you took his hand again and led him out of the room.
That's when Vernon's mind started going a mile a minute, but instead of freaking out, he let himself be taken away by you.
~
So, maybe taking you up on your offer to use the pool hadn't been the best idea.
Everything was fine. Really. The pool area was pretty clean and the water felt nice. The temperature was just perfect, allowing for anyone who wanted a quick dip to enjoy themselves without risking frostbite like at the local community pool.
Only issue was you.
According to all prior experience, you had proven to be nothing but a health concern for Vernon since meeting you only a few days ago.
Despite the lukewarm water, Vernon was burning up.
Who thought it'd be a good idea to go to the pool, alone, with his crush as she paraded herself around in a sad excuse for a bikini? Was this even allowed? He was seeing too much skin. Which wasn't an issue for Vernon! He'd never call himself a prude, but ... In this one instance, he wished for some of puritanical rule to prevent him from having to see you swim laps in a bikini that left very little to his imagination.
Except, of course, the material in front of him did give him a lot of room for some very imaginative thoughts.
Vernon had no option but to dip his feet in the pool, sitting at the edge with a towel on his lap in order to cover what he was sure was a small chub growing under his trousers. Meanwhile, he watched you swim for a good ten minutes, dreading the moment you stopped and approached him again.
"Are you really not going to swim with me?", you called from afar, having reached the other side of the pool, "The water's so nice and there's no one here."
"Uhm, nope, I hate getting wet. I'll just watch you," he slapped himself mentally as soon as he said it.
"Well, I wanna get to know you," you told him as you exited the pool, killing Vernon with every step you took in his direction up until you sat next to him. Your legs were practically touching.
"Hi," you smiled at him.
There was an air of confidence you carried every time you spoke to him. He was half sure you were fully aware of his crush and were simply banking on it.
"Hi," he said back, unknowing of where to settle his eyes.
You likely caught onto this, giggling under your breath.
"Vernon."
"Yeah?", he looked to you. He deliberately avoided looking at any of your bare skin, staring directly into your eyes with widened eyes.
"You can look at me, you know. I want you to."
"Oh, uh, I- I didn't want to be rude or anyth- Wait, what?"
You giggled again, "You're funny. Are you this much of a mess with everyone else, or am I getting special treatment?"
"Special treatment for sure."
Again, you laughed. Good. At least he wasn't fucking this up.
"You know, the guys told me you were this ... very stoic and chill type of guy. I was wondering if I'd get to see that guy if I got you alone. But you're even worse without the guys around to hackle you," you accused jokingly.
"So you're doing this on purpose?"
He turned his body to face you more, allowing for your knees to actually knock together this time. The dampness of your skin graced his leg, but it was your bare touch that made him shiver. Still, he felt like less of a loser now. He had somewhat of a handle on the conversation this time around.
"Depending what you mean by 'this.'"
"The bikini? Getting me alone? Sitting this close to me knowing I have to override my brain in order to not look anywhere past your eyes?"
Okay, he was flirting now, apparently. Unexpected, but he welcomed it. His mouth was going faster than his brain. But the slight shift in your expression told him it was a welcomed development.
"Yes," you bit back a smile as you confirmed it, "I wanted to see whether the feeling was mutual or if you were just socially incompetent. No offense."
"None taken. And, uh, what's your verdict?"
"I think it'd be more fun if you tell me," you challenged.
Either he was crazy or you were gradually leaning closer to him. Or maybe it was him. Both? Either way, the proximity increased.
"I do like you. It's painfully obvious and probably worrying how much since we've only met once, but I even went asking my friends about you," he found himself admitting.
"Really? That's funny, because I was asking Mingyu about you," you revealed.
So you didn't like Mingyu. Noted.
"Oh? I, uh, what'd he say?"
You hummed, scooting over and shamelessly laying one of your legs atop his, body leaning completely towards his own. The distance between you was practically nonexistent now, with your eyes even zeroing in on his lips as you spoke.
"He told me you can be shy sometimes. That I should help you out a little."
"A-and, are you? Going to help me out, I mean," he could hear his own gulp.
"Nope," you popped the 'p,' "I want you to take what you want."
"That's ... You're kind of mean," he chuckled breathlessly.
You chuckled back, but you were clearly frustrated by how much he was dragging it.
Without having to move, his arm wrapped around you, courtesy of you literally taking it and placing it on your hip. He was obedient, so he followed along. Next, your hand placed itself on his cheek, tilting his head down and abolishing any sort of distance left. Your lips were practically touching now.
"Vernon, just do it. I want you to. I really want you to."
And so he kissed you.
Immediately, you deepened it, taking control of it all.
All you wanted was for him to take the first step, which in reality he didn't. You held all the power, which you knew. Still, he enjoyed this. He liked that you knew the effect you had on him and that you knew what to do with it.
Plus, he'd be an idiot to complain about your sticking your tongue in his mouth.
Like any thinking, breathing man, he continued to kiss you, not bothering to stifle any groans he left against your lips. He completely disregarded the fact that you were in a public space, that anyone could walk in at any moment — maybe even one of his friends. But it was hard to care when your fingers tangled through the tresses of his hair and sucked at his tongue.
The kiss only stopped when you harshly pulled at his hair, physically removing his face from your own. He mumbled out a few complaints as you did, but eventually woke up from his trance and cleared his throat as you pulled away.
"It's almost 1 o'clock," you said, but all he paid attention to were your swollen lips, "There's a swimming class at one," you began getting up, towering over Vernon as you dried yourself up, "So unless you want to get a fine for fondling in private property, we should go."
You held out your hand for him to stand up, surprising Vernon when your stance didn't falter when helping lift up his weight. That's when he was reminded about your affinity for weight lifting. Hot.
The fleeting thought of you manhandling him crossed through his mind, but he shook it away not wanting to risk a boner at the gym.
"You planned this, didn't you?"
"Maybe. But it's more fun like this, isn't it?", you giggled as you walked away.
Vernon shook his head to himself as he watched you — very focused on the show you gave him as you walked away.
Vernon continued to see you on an almost daily basis after that — or at least every day in which he got dragged to the gym. Except maybe not in the way that he had hoped.
After that time in which you led him to the privacy of the empty pool patio, the two of you did not spend any time alone. Every single time he saw you was exclusively at the gym, with all the other guys in your immediate vicinity. He didn't even get the chance to speak to you, mostly unable to due to your attention being shared between thirteen men seemingly starved for attention (with him being the biggest culprit).
Like a dumbass, he didn't ask for your number at any time. His shyness around you had mostly left him, but he was still an awkward idiot when it came to taking further steps towards you.
And it wasn't as if you'd stopped provoking him. If anything, your efforts had doubled. Your gym outfits went from baggy shirts and spandex to tiny little sets that showed off as much skin as possible — he had even confirmed with Seungkwan that this was a brand new development in your wardrobe. You were insistent in eyeing him down any time it was his turn to do some sets. You'd bite your lip and stare at him as if you wanted to jump him on the spot. It was safe to say that this messed with his performance (not that he had good form in the first place).
A week of this went by, making him slowly lose his mind. All of his friends became privy to his frustrations, but he was mostly met with mockery. Some told him he was an idiot, that he should just grow some balls and ask you to come over to his apartment. Others simply laughed at how weak he was under your attention.
On the eighth day of this hell, he finally decided to do something about it. If you wanted to play with his sanity, then he'd feed right into it. He didn't care to look like a wimp or like he was down bad for you — he was both of those things, and proud.
Mondays were the day in which the guys went to the gym at night rather than during the day. Something about a lower influx of people at that specific time. And you, you had a tendency of attending the gym at the same time as them most of the time, which meant you were also present.
It was almost closing time by the time the guys were done working out that day. Vernon had to endure three hours due to their insistence that they 'might as well stay til closing.'
As they began to pack up, of course Mingyu managed to hold up the part-timers who were about to close, wondering if it'd be fine to stay an extra ten minutes so a few of his friends could catch the showers they desperately needed. Being Mingyu, of course the part-timers didn't stand a chance to his charms.
Vernon decided to take this as an opportunity to find you alone. The guys (who loved to hog your attention, apparently) would finally be out of his way while he sought you out. It was the perfect chance to at least ask you for your number. Before you left the guys and headed over to the girls' locker rooms, you made sure to eye Vernon far too suggestively for him to misunderstand your intentions. Or at least he hoped so.
For once, Vernon was thankful for Mingyu's habit to befriend every person in his vicinity, as his yapping allowed Vernon to sneak into the women's locker rooms to find you there. It was also thanks to him that he'd be able to you alone rather than accidentally bump into some other gym-goer. He made a mental note to thank him later before beginning his search for you.
This search didn't last long. It was clear to Vernon as soon as he crossed the threshold to the showers in the girl's locker room that you'd been expecting him.
In nothing but a towel, you stood next to a running shower, lower lip trapped under your teeth as you eyed him down. No words to be exchanged. All you had to do was extend your hand out to him for him to finally unfreeze and do something.
Immediately, you dropped your towel and dragged him into the shower, pulling him in so that he'd have you pinned up against the dampened wall. His gym clothes got soaked, but he figured it was worth the temporary inconvenience. Especially when your hands began pawing at him to get undressed within seconds of kissing him.
Just like last time, Vernon lost all sense of time and space in the kiss. His hands were way less awkward than he was, confident in their touching of your body. The wetness of the running water only added to it all, allowing Vernon's hands to easily slide across every curve.
"You took too long to make a move," you huffed into his lips.
Your hands expressed frustration. They glided through his dampening hair, pulling it in order to get his mouth to open for access for your tongue. It was clear to him you had a tendency to take what you wanted, and he was ready to be completely consumed by you.
"I told you," he mumbled, "you make me act like an idiot."
That pulled a chuckle from you as your lips traveled down the wet skin of his neck. Teeth pulled lightly at the skin there, surely leaving reddened marks behind their wake. Every bite and suckle was met by a squeeze of your hips, courtesy of Vernon's needy hands.
"So I'm not being too forward? This is fine?", you pulled away for half a second before Vernon grumbled as he reconnected your lips. You chuckled at his neediness.
"Please be as forward as humanly possible. It's hot."
The two of you continued kissing. Had it not been for the echoing of the water hitting the floor, Vernon was sure the obscene sound of your kissing would've made him blush. It wasn't like him to play tonsil tennis in public like this, but you made his common sense leave his body.
Then you made things all the worse for him.
Pulling away, you eyed him before wrapping your hand around him. Vernon made the mistake of looking down, finding your hand slowly working him, pace so slow it was surely meant to tease. He groaned as he looked back up, eyes becoming stuck at your bare tits for the first time since you'd dropped your towel for him.
"You're so fucking hot," he groaned almost pained.
"Yeah? You too, baby," you grinned as you sped up your hand.
Baby? Was he baby now? Fuck.
"I- fuck, this won't be fun if you keep going," he winced despite the increasing pleasure. This only encouraged you to make things even worse for him, though. Your lips attached to his neck again, dick now being grasped with both hands as one worked him and the other tended to his balls.
"I'm having fun," a breath was felt against his skin as you chuckled between kisses to his chest, "I want you to cum right here," you laid one last kiss before moving to his ear, licking and pulling at the lobe, "If you're good, you'll get me on my knees after."
Vernon almost lost it then. He didn't care what you'd ask of him. He needed this. At no other point in his life had he ever needed something as much as he needed to obey your every whim.
He groaned and buried his face in your neck as his hands continued to fondle at you. They took turns between your ass and your breasts, losing any decorum they had left. This was the only pleasure he could give you while you jerked him off, but you loved it. Your pretty sighs against his ear told him that you were getting off on the effect you had on him. His lack of control as he felt you up to his heart's contentment had you reeling. It was sickening how much he enjoyed that knowledge.
"'m gonna cum, fuck. Shit, I need- oh, fuck," he babbled. You squeezed and twisted and played at his cock in ways that had nonsensical words leaving his lips. No further coherent cries left him whilst you had your fun with him.
"That's it, baby. Cum for me," you continued to instigate.
As per usual, he was yours to toy with. His body followed your instructions before he could even process your words. The cum splattered on your stomach before trailing down and going down the drain, washed away by the wasted water.
Again, you kissed him, this time without the separation of your hand on his dick standing between you. His arms held onto you tighter than before as he pulled you as close as possible. Sensitivity sparked on his dick when you began absentmindedly grinding against him. Despite the water surrounding you, he was sure it was your own wetness that he felt as you humped him.
When he let his hand explore between your legs, he had to bite back a groan. You were incredibly soaked, instantly dampening his fingers with your nectar.
Your sigh of pleasure against his lips told him all he needed to know as he felt between your legs. A tiny nod from you was confirmation that you wanted him, so his fingers entered you. But not before teasing at your folds with a hard knuckle, up until you bit his lip and grumbled at him.
"Shit, you're tight."
"I'll be tighter when you fuck me," you moaned.
"I, fuck, yeah? You'll let me fuck you, baby?", he breathed out, beginning to scissor his fingers in and out of you, curling where he knew would have you keening for him.
You gasped out a moan, hands digging into his chest in a worthless attempt to both pull and push him away. Head thrown back, Vernon took advantage to scrape his teeth on the skin there, sucking lightly at the points that had you shuddering. His read on your body was immediate. It gave him a surge of confidence to note every little reaction you had to him. Every moan and every gasp was taken in by him, stored in his hippocampus for future use.
"Oh, fuck, right there, shit, Vernon," you whimpered.
Long fingers, pointed and curled in a come-hither motion began repeating their movements. Touching that spongy part of you, Vernon continued to pull cries out of you, uncaring that anyone could walk by and hear you despite the running shower. The water was beginning to run cold, but your orgasm mattered more to Vernon.
"'m gonna cum, Nonnie," you warned, letting your head fall onto his shoulder.
"Cum, shit. Wanna fuck you so bad."
You tightened at that, causing his hardening length to twitch at the thought of you wanting him as much as he did you — though that was impossible to him.
When your orgasm found you, Vernon knew he was in out of his depth. Your back curled as his free hand held you up against him, causing your chest to dig into his own. Head thrown back and fingers digging into his biceps, you were a sight he would never forget. A low groan of his own mixed with your breathy whines at the mere view of your pleasure overtaking you in such a way — and because of him!
His fingers continued to play at your middle throughout your orgasm, refusing to stop toying at your swollen clit until you whined at him to stop with a halfhearted grumble.
He chuckled at the sight. Somehow you managed to look adorable to him right after what had just happened between you.
Just when he thought you'd stop to at least take a breather, you cupped his face and pulled him in for another kiss. His fingers were still dripping with you, hand simply flying between your bodies to ensure he didn't get your own substances on you. But shocking him once again, you pulled away, grabbing onto his hand and slipping his fingers in your mouth.
Eyeing him down as you sucked at his fingers, his mouth shot open, letting out a silent groan at the sight — Depraved. That's the only way Vernon could describe himself at that moment as he watched your eyes roll back as you sucked at his digits in your mouth.
"I wanna suck your dick," you deadpanned as soon as you pulled his fingers out of your mouth.
All he could do was choke on his own spit, full well knowing that his dick twitched against his stomach, gracing your own due to the proximity between you.
"I, you don't have to-"
"But I want to. Do you not?"
Your head tilted and your eyebrows furrowed as if you were confused by his hesitation. He was confused too.
As much as he wanted to take you up on your offer, — and very enthusiastically so — he knew there was no way he could last more than one more orgasm (and that was saying a lot).
And despite the thought of you on your knees, mouth wrapped around him as you eyed him in that way you knew made him feel faint making him almost lose his mind, what he wanted most at that moment (or ever, he was pretty sure) was to be inside you.
The thirst he felt for you at that moment was unmatched. It was a sickly feeling considering he'd only known you for a bit over a week, yet your effect on him had been immediate — That, and the fact that you were standing in front of him, completely nude and dripping wet (everywhere), eyeing him like you wanted to devour him until there was no man left in him.
"I wanna fuck you," his voice broke as he said it, a testament to how needy he felt in that moment.
"Yeah?"
There was that pleased, teasing smile on your lips again. And then a hand wrapped around him again, but this time directing him towards your center, holding him hostage as his tip graced at your mound.
"Like this? Want me against the wall? While the guys wait for me to finish 'showering'?", you were challenging him, he knew it.
He took the bait.
For the nth time, your lips connected in a heavy kiss. It was dubious whose spit made its way to his chin, but that was the last thing he had in his mind.
Grabbing onto your toned thigh, he lifted it to wrap around his waist, pushing himself up against you even closer, ridding you of even the smallest inch of distance. Meanwhile, your hand led his cock to your entrance, teasing yourself (and him) by running it up and down your slit, stopping to circle his tip on your clit.
Vernon's forehead fell against yours with a groan at the feeling of your warmth, a whimper leaving him when you took that chance to lick into his mouth, beginning to push him inside, but only the tip.
"F-fuck, please," he pleaded against your lips.
"Begging now?", you chuckled.
"I'll beg every time if it means you'll let me fuck you."
And he meant it more than he realized. Whimpers left his mouth as soon as you began leading him in, legs shaking and a sigh of relief leaving his lips at finally being inside you.
You were so tight, so hot, so fucking wet. He could feel his eyes itching to roll back all the way to his brain at how perfect you felt. Grabby fingers held onto your damp skin, uncaring that the water hitting his back was now cold and only proved as an obstacle to fucking you. Any surrounding circumstances were locked up in the back burner. His brain was just a constant repetition of yesyesyesyes as he willed himself not to cum within the first minute.
"Fuck, you feel so fucking good ..." he groaned out.
"I'll feel even better when you move," you huffed out a breath.
"Just one second, baby. You feel so good, I'm sorry."
Readjusting his hands on your hips, he brought you closer, raising the leg you had wrapped around him a bit and leaning you upwards. From this angle, he began to move, starting off slow to test the waters. And god, did that reward him.
The prettiest sigh he'd ever heard left your lips, accompanied by subsequent gasps of pleasure. Sharp nails dug into his back, petulant in their attempt to pull him closer, but the took it like a champ.
"Nonnie, fuck! R-right there!", you cried out.
And then he was gone.
He was no longer himself. No longer caring to extend his orgasm and only worried about hitting that spot. The spot that had your back arching and your chest pressing onto his. That same spot that morphed your face in a way that Vernon knew he'd remember for endless nights after this.
Continuing to piston desperately into you. Strength he didn't know he had suddenly took over as he manhandled your body as he wished. Every thrust was accompanied by your own attempts at pushing back against him, leading to a depraved harmony of slapping skin and gasps of pleasure.
"Didn't, shit, didn't think you were this strong," you hiccuped out.
"That's what good pussy does to a man," he joked, but deep down probably meant it.
You tried to laugh, but the sound was interrupted by another moan, head throwing itself back and resting against the shower wall. You tightened yourself around him then, groaning something out to him about not making you laugh. He couldn't really process it when you were suctioning him in so deliciously.
Soon enough, he felt his high approaching, making him panic and accelerate the speed of his thrusts. His mind was going a mile a minute as he attempted to take you down with him, mumbling out expletives into your skin, huffing and groaning at the way you internmently tightened around him.
"Need you to cum with me, okay? Please, it'll be so fucking embarrassing if you don't."
You chuckled between gasps, pulling him in for a kiss, "I'm there, just, fuck, keep doing that."
He was far too gone, lips barely able to kiss back in the midst of his orgasm taking over. He couldn't do this. Couldn't handle how good it all felt. Couldn't deal with your tongue in his mouth or your nails digging into his skin, much less with the sudden strangulation your cunt performed on his cock as your own orgasm arrived. And then your high pitched moans came into the picture, making him truly lose his mind.
"It's so good, oh god, so fucking good. You feel so- fuck, shit, so tight, baby," he babbled against your lips.
"So good, hmm? Fucking me so good, Non," you moaned back.
Vernon swore he blacked out after that, not knowing what happened as soon as the dramatic influx of pleasure reached him. The aftermath was full of dizziness and a feeling of fulfillment Vernon had never experienced before. It was like waking up from an amazing nap, except this time he was still plunged deeply into the prettiest girl he'd ever seen as she pressed lazy kisses to his chest.
"Are you alive?", you asked when you reached his lips, pecking them once, twice, thrice before he tried deepening it, only to find you pulling away with a giggle.
"Maybe not. I'd be fine if I wasn't. That would've been a great way to go."
"You're funny after sex," you noted.
"It's a little easier when I'm already inside you. It's less nerve-wracking that way."
"Yeah? So are you gonna go back to stuttering through every sentence once you pull out?", you tightened yourself around him to somehow prove your point, making him wince.
"Nope. Staying here. I'll even risk hypothermia with this cold ass water," that earned him another laugh and even a kiss.
"Okay, Romeo. Mingyu can only hold off the part-timers for so long, c'mon," you pressed your hands on his chest, making him groan but follow along to your instruction as per usual. — maybe this was something to look into. Later.
~
"I was not expecting that from you," you breathed out a laugh once you were dressed, exiting the dressing room hand-in-hand.
You were kidding. Maybe.
"I told you I'm not as socially awkward as I seem. I'm just an idiot around you," he chuckled. His hand swung back and forth with yours jovially.
He was very happy right now. Sue him.
"Well, a very skilled idiot, then."
He laughed along with you as you approached the main lobby, finding two familiar men leaning against a wall. It was clear in their demeanor that they'd been waiting a while, with Mingyu sighing in frustration when he spotted you.
"Half an hour? What could you have been doing in there for half an hour?", whined Seokmin.
"Well-"
"Don't. Rhetorical question," interrupted Mingyu.
The two of you snickered, walking past them and towards the exit. Both boys exchanged a look as they followed slightly behind you.
"Hold on. No 'thank you'?", Mingyu interrupted again.
Mingyu stopped you from walking away, grabbing onto your arm so you'd turn around and subsequently causing your hand to disconnect from Vernon's
You sighed in exaggerated annoyance, "Fine. Thank you, Gyu. I guess I owe you one."
"Wait, what?", Vernon looked quizzically at you both.
Mingyu grinned stupidly at both of you, with an equally idiotic Seokmin standing next to him with a mirrored expression.
"She asked us if we could stall so she'd get you alone," Mingyu started.
"I was just going to pull the fire alarm, but Gyu figured that probably wouldn't work," Seokmin continued, "and now Gyu scored a date with the receptionist, so all wins here, I guess."
Vernon turned to you, both scandalized and amused, "You-"
"Hey, I told you. You were taking too long. A girl has needs," you shrugged, grabbing onto his hand again and beginning to walk away as if it was nothing.
Vernon could've argued back. But following you seemed like the more obvious response.
Maybe he'd been a total loser throughout all this, but he scored the girl in the end. All was good.
Except now he'd probably have to go to the gym every other day.
to read short 1.7k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my svt monthly tier on patreon!
content: established relationship, afab reader, smut, morning sex, dry humping, tit worship, sorta switch!vernon, etc.
wc: 332 (teaser); 1789 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
"God, no, I can't go again," Vernon grumbled, face planted on his pillow.
The man was practically passed out, unmoving as he stayed cuddled into his blankets. The only movements out of him were the occasional squeezing of his arms around the polar bear plush you'd gotten him a few weeks back.
Vernon was more than content staying like this for the rest of the day. Only thing that would've made it all even better would be if you hadn't insisted on getting up and away from his arms.
Unfortunately for him, you were strong enough to flip him over.
Usually, this would be something he enjoyed. Something he keened over, even. But the context was different.
This time you weren't flipping him over to straddle him and make him lose his mind. No, this time was so you could continue to insist at him to get up, but now forcing him to look you in the eye as you did so.
"Vernon, we agreed on this," you pouted at him.
You were too far for his liking. While he laid on bed, body completely stretched out and occupying way too much space, you were propped up on your knees on the same bed, except not close enough for him to pull you into him. This was strategic, he guessed.
"It's been three months. How much longer do I have to keep going to the gym?"
"It's kind of a lifetime type of thing."
He groaned.
"If I show up without you you're just gonna get twelve men barging in here in an hour," you reasoned, crawling closer to him.
"Is there any way I can convince you to not make me go?"
"Is there any way I can convince you to go?", you rebutted, eyes flirty.
Vernon knew this move.
"You know you can convince me. You're very well aware of all the ways in which you can convince me. It's kind of mean of you to threaten me like this."
...
find the 18+ continuation on patreon!
if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3
#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#seventeen smut#svt smut#vernon scenarios#vernon imagines#vernon smut#vernon fanfic#vernon oneshot#vernon x reader#hansol imagine#hansol smut#hansol fanfic#hansol scenarios#hansol x reader
640 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chuck Tingle interview
OK, here is the FINAL 2024 Tingles My Butt post, which I've been pretty hyped for. I still kind of can't believe this. While I was figuring out how I'd move on from 2024, @drchucktingle generously offered to answer some questions of mine to commemorate the end of my tingler project! Here they are!
-Considering that your process for tinglers is just to write it out and not stress about proofreading and editing, was it weird for you to see someone decide to go back, examine, and contemplate every single tingler published in the past decade?
the whole dang project was really wonderful for me, for exactly the reason you have just said. tinglers are very STREAM OF CONSCIOUS and only edited with one quick pass so while i think this adds to their honesty and rawness it also means that my time with them is limited. really watching someone go back through them at this depth was like reading a diary that i have not opened for many years, and it jumps around through time in a very beautiful way. it was very moving
-I love tingler character names. I personally admire how many great ones you come up with. (I never know what to name my ttrpg characters.) You just come up with all these great names that seemingly spring from nowhere, how do you do it?
DANG great question cant believe i have not been asked this before but yes there is a type of name that shows up in the tingleverse that is unusual and has a certain feeling and cadence that is very specific. if i am trotting along with sweet barbara and there is a name of a product or a place or something that has this tone we will say ‘oh thats a tingleverse name.’ the reason i wanted to do this in the books was as a very subtle way of saying these stories exist on a timeline that is RIGHT next to ours, so in some ways it is exactly the same as our world but there are these little cultural differences with things like chocolate milk and spaghetti and then with the names. you will have buckaroos like justin and sarah trotting along next to buckaroos named corb torbins-quill or borto lart.
-So, as a reader, reading from 2014 to now, old tinglers and new tinglers feel different to me. I believe you when you say tinglers have always been sincere, but they feel MORE sincere than they used to be. Like, I feel like there was some self-consciousness and irony in some of the early tinglers that you've since let go of and embraced the Chuck Tingle voice more. I don't know, am I imagining this, or does this square with your tingler writing journey? If it does, what has that process been like for you?
i think you are absolutely correct. the intention with tinglers was always to be a place for me to express myself with complete sincerity, but the practical way of HOW to trot like this took a bit of an evolution to arrive at. in other words i knew the basics, but actually refining the best way to express yourself and perform your art takes time. maybe in the same way goin back and watching season one of a tv show can feel very different from season three, even though they are part of the same expression.
similar thing happened with in my chuck PRESENTATION as well, where my main focus was to stay anonymous so the metaphors i used to talk about my life were still true but laid on much thicker. even my attire was a large gi so that you would not even be able to see my shape, which has obviously changed now because i wear suits these days. all of this was a process of starting in a place i knew was important to me and then peeling off the parts that were not helping the message or expression over time
-Is there anything you could tell us about the significance of Borson Reems? I feel like he's more than just another Buck Trungle/Chuck Tangle/etc but I'm not sure what exactly...
yes borson reems is god. not that i believe in GOD in the way that most buckaroos talk about god (i am agnostic) but within the tingleverse, borson reems is an avatar for the creator of that world. technically i am borson reems, because i am writing the books. the question is: are we all the gods of our own little worlds that we create? i do not know, but when i look around at my buds and the joy and love they bring to various timelines they sure seem like gods to me
-A lot of no-sex tinglers (especially ones that aren't romance-focused) vary in terms of plot and structure a lot more than erotic tinglers. Is your writing process for these stories any different?
same process actually, but the sex scenes in tinglers are about 1500 to 2000 words long, and total tingler length is 4000 words which means if you are not including that portion you are going to have to come up with some creative way to fill that space in the story and a new axis for story to turn on. so the variety comes from me getting creative and trying out different axis points
-In "Not Pounded By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Non-Fungible Tingler That Is Literally This NFT" Because Of The Current Catastrophic Environmental And Ethical Impact" there are references to an earlier draft of the story that was never released because you ended up disagreeing with the message. Are there any other tinglers that never got finished and/or published, if you'd be willing to talk about any of them?
oh this is a VERY good question. the story of the NFT tingler is that when buckaroos were first talkin on nfts online and nobody really knew what they were, my first thoughts were just ‘oh this is interesting what the heck is this?’ this is my way with most CURRENT EVENTS. and i thought ‘this would be an interesting tingler, i suppose maybe i should make the tingler an ACTUAL nft’. this was in VERY early days so i did not really even understand what an nft was (neither did 99 percent of buckaroos yet honestly). so i looked into it just enough to actually MAKE a nft tingler that was a real nft and put it out. lasted for about thirty seconds before buckaroos were messaging saying ‘oh this is bad chuck you should look into what this is’ and i DID look into it and thought’ oh yeah this is terrible nevermind’. i took down the original and thought ‘well THIS is what art is all about. this is where i thrive in a world of moving living art that is in communication with itself’. so i dove into the research and actually started to understand NFTS and then i repurposed the story into a strongly anti-nft tingler and put that on out instead.
as far as OTHER tinglers that kind of move and breathe and live like this, in communication with the audience, GAY T-REX LAW FIRM is another very good example. that one i wrote early on and i think it was kind of in the model of something like fifty shade of grey, where issues of kink and consent and communication are not really handled well. i think at the time it came out the story was okay, but as time went on it always kind of bothered me and finally i thought ‘i love art that exists in the REAL WORLD and changes and evolves, so lets rewrite that story and fix some of these mistakes.’ honestly it is something i wish more artists would be open to. its okay to let something hold strong against a changing timeline, but it is also okay to explore what its like to take the notes that time gives us
-This one is about Chuck Tingle that exists in deeper layers of the Tingleverse that operate on tingler logic: what does the location inside his/your butt look like?
probably a nice mid-century modern home up in laurel canyon neighborhood of los angeles. kind of quiet and small like a cabin but also very cozy, like the kind of place where you would put on a crosby stills nash and young record on vinyl and gaze out into the woods for a while then walk down the hill for dinner at a little cafe where you spot some actor from a 60s tv show also having dinner in the corner booth. this basically sounds like the start of a tingler and in that tingler i will say the actor would be a bigfoot.
-OK this one is very self-indulgent but if you could help settle this frequent point of discussion I have with my wife- where do the following fit in the Tingleverse bigfoot/dinosaur/unicorn/living object(/human/does not apply?) taxonomy?
-a ghost of a regular human
-a regular human vampire
-a human/fish mermaid
-a sentient winged horse
-a sentient centipede large enough to wrap around a mountain several times (she is handsome)
alright lets trot through these. a GHOST is not one of the four tingle types so you can have a ghost racecar or a ghost unicorn or a ghost bigfoot. ghosts are outside of the four types and do not have a classification
a VAMPIRE is also outside of the four types. so you can have a vampire bigfoot or, of course, a vampire night bus. does not strictly fall into any of the four main categories
MERMAIDS are technically a long lost species of unicorn I DONT MAKE THE RULES I JUST EXPLAIN THEM. this makes the MERMOPED tingler a little confusing but i had to pick a category and that one went into living object. now that i mention it possibly the only tingler that is technically a double category of unicorn/living object.
WINGED HORSE is easy, thats a pegasus which is a species of unicorn just like a mermaid
a SENTIENT CENTIPEDE LARGE ENOUGH TO WRAP AROUND A MOUNTAIN is an ancient creature, therefore dinosaur tingler
-My other self-indulgent question: do you have a favorite bug? (Or second-favorite if you count Mothman as a bug)
i love finding spiders in the house and giving them a pet because they are doing a good job livin their lives doin their thing. close second would be a pretty ladybug
-Any thoughts on what tinglers will be like in 2025? Do you expect to be writing a lot of political tinglers again, like post-2016?
honestly i really do not like writing specifically political tinglers anymore, and the amount that i write has gradually dropped over time (i think ALL tinglers are political but in a different way). so honestly i think i will write a few political tinglers but not many. my hypothesis on this is that my HORROR NOVELS are very very political and so maybe i get a lot of these ideas out of my system that way now. when it comes to tinglers i just wanna explore my OWN mind and heart and butt more
THANK YOU for these wonderful questions and thank you for your tingler-a-day project it was so moving and powerful. what a treat it was an honor to be a part of something so beautiful. THIS PROVES LOVE IS REAL
453 notes
·
View notes
Text
Except it doesn't work.
This is actually a key concept in patriarchy!
Women are intended to serve as the civilizing force.
The morality police.
The moral compass.
Women allow, men test.
Men who are in the patriarchy will consistently value the opinions of their male friends and prioritize male friendship groups, their hierarchy, and their bonding rituals over the women in their lives while also consistently laying the responsibility for fixing the emotional wounds caused by those friendships.
The form that most abuse from patriarchal men takes is specifically either mobbing women by repeatedly exposing them to the same messaging over and over by groups of men or guilting women into thinking that they are being unreasonable or too demanding or that life is actually too hard for them.
It's not that men's lives aren't hard.
It's that when those men talk, all the complaints consistently circle back to the idea that the reason being a man is hard is that women will not take pity on them and consent to sex they don't want or relationships they're not interested in just to make them feel better.
The sense of aggrieved entitlement serves to shift the blame on women for speaking out about the things that they have experienced, or create the narrative that the job of society is to make ways to trick women into sex or relationships that they don't want in order to prevent depression, neuroticism, anti social behavior, etc. In men.
This isn't a secret. It's literally a verbatim narrative that men circulate in covert ways. The male loneliness epidemic is radicalizing young men. Not to volunteer at nursing homes or animal shelters. Not to call for more mental health support. Not to call for more paid time off so that the average person can spend more time with their loved ones. Specifically, the main thrust of the article is "if women don't fall back in line men will become violent predators." When I was younger, this was often presented with examples from ancient Greece and Rome? I forget the guy. There was a Roman historian who had this idea that young men were only interested in creating radical social change in ancient Rome because too many of the wealthy older men had too many wives and concubines. Jordan Peterson used to trot that guy out. It doesn't matter. The ancient Romans thought owls were vampires, bro.
But it's just the same thing. Last week I saw this thing on reddit where some guy was posting that the male suicide rate is higher for short men.
And I don't want that. I don't think that's a good idea. But is "Give me sex" or "give me a relationship you don't want or are not ready for" something I am going to be prepared to do with my entire life, potentially, because of the implication?
Part of rape culture is the idea that men can't control or regulate their own emotions and that women can. Women are supposed to be independent, mysterious, not ever seek attention, ashamed of wanting validation. Women are meant to find it easy to follow all social rules and to also covertly influence and help the people around them to follow social rules through hints that help them to save face. Women are supposed to avoid leading men on. They are supposed to avoid being too deceptive in their beauty regimen. They are supposed to avoid being too demanding of men and making it too hard for them to get whatever it is they want. They are supposed to completely repent and change their entire character if they change the type of relationship they want- the woman who has had casual sex is supposed to pretend to be ashamed and that all the sex she experienced was a sign of unhealed trauma and she's a good girl now and she knows that dating men who please her sexually or that she is physically attracted to or that is too nice to her or is too smart or too good to be true is a red flag, actually. She is supposed to buy into the idea that "a healthy relationship will be boring" because what makes relationships exciting is somehow abuse. She is supposed to settle down, not up.
There's this thing I notice a lot.
A thing where a lot of women who seek advice from other women for things like feeling exhausted and burnt out from doing too much of the household maintenance are asked if their spouse has adhd or autism, as if rather than getting those things treated or seeking self help advice for those things if they impact your ability to take care of yourself, the solution is just to ask your partner to do them. There is a form of this question that will be leveled when both partners are the same age and both partners are neurodivergent.
Yes, it is nice when you can be nice to people and help them get deradicalized. But the people who do that type of work professionally have support networks and professional training. And sometimes you can be nice to someone and it helps them. But the more you do that, the more likely it is that you will be targeted by people who want to hurt you or silence you or shut you up, or that this particular piece of the patriarchy where people use your desire to help people and be kind to them and give them the benefit of the doubt against you with the intent of making you believe their way of thinking.
It cannot be a social norm that women owe men sex, commitment, babies, etc no matter how they are treated in response to giving those things to prevent social collapse.
It cannot be a social norm that men get to abuse women by proxy by threatening to hurt other women or other marginalized people if women do not comply.
It also cannot be a social norm that people are expected to be kind to people who are exhibiting radicalized behaviors and also that people are constantly accusing one another in moral purity witch hunts as a way to isolate them from support networks so that if someone tried to help someone who attempted to befriend people in order to try to see if they could help them see another way results in creating a situation where they have no recourse if they are targeted by extremist groups in retaliation and agents provocateur who try to use their old support network against them.
There actually are a lot of male voices on the left including men who specialize in anti manosphere content, mentorship to men who feel like they need positive older men to talk to as role models, men who talk about why toxic masculinity hurt them in the past in ways that don't have to do with relationships, people who were amab and who aren't men talking about what that experience of growing up with people trying to force masculinity on them is like, and teams which include men and women as friends and colleagues and even some that are married or dating.
But this talking point survives because it helps to radicalize women into misogyny by trying to get them to take accountability for the behavior of misogynistic men and also encouraging them to doubt their own experiences or their own rights to their own story and to the community of other people with similar experiences by telling them that they are somehow poisoning men. They are responsible for taming them.
posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.
those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.
radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.
ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!
"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.
it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐚𝐞 𝐁𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐤 ౨ৎ
pairing : kang sae byeok x fem!reader
warnings : nsfw
warnings for sfw : tiniest mention of sickness
warnings for nsfw : dom!saebyeok, sub!reader, tiny mention of knife play, degradation, strap
a/n : just thought i’d start off with some headcannons <3 if you have requests, feel free to message me <3
- Saebyeok probably wouldn’t be the first one to say “i love you”
- when she did say those three words, she would feel relieved. after all, she has been holding it in since she laid eyes on you
- and she doesn’t say it much, instead, she shows her love through different ways
- like remembering the smallest details — like how you take your coffee (or if you don’t like coffee), which side of the bed you prefer, or your favorite movies
- she has a habit of “borrowing” things of yours and never returning them
- she absolutely loves seeing you in her clothes
- the first time Saebyeok fell asleep on the couch with your head on her chest, it’s a bigger milestone than your first kiss
- Saebyeok struggles with accepting help or care when she’s sick. she’s used to acting like she’s fine. the first time she calls you because she has a fever is a huge moment of trust
- gives you a spare key for her apartment
- she’s not big on pet names, but i think from time to time she would call you, “darling,” “baby,” or “princess”
- always saying things like “i missed you,” “did you eat?” or “are you warm enough?”
- she expresses worry more through actions since she’s not the most comfortable with saying things. she’ll fix the bow on the back of your hair when you’re walking ahead of her
- when she’s upset, she goes quiet rather than angry
- Saebyeok’s love language is 100% quality time
- i think we can call come to an agreement that she’s not a fan of pda
- she will hold hands with you while walking though
- in private, she would like physical contact though. she’s always finding small ways to touch you
- loves to give you hugs — her arms wrapped around you as she holds you in her embrace, resting her chin on your head as she murmurs sweet words to you
- her favorite form of physical affection is playing with your hair while you lay on her chest as you two watch movies
- we can also all come to an agreement that this woman is PROTECTIVE !!
- is always near you out in public like a personal bodyguard
- carries her pocket knife everywhere
- while walking together, Saebyeok always positions herself on the street side of the sidewalk
- and what if i said she memorizes your schedule (without meaning to) just to know you’re safe ??
- the first time you meet Cheol, she’s more nervous than either of you
- Saebyeok doesn’t even realize that she leaves things at your apartment
- the first time she calls your apartment “home,” she doesn’t even notice—it feels natural
- she has a specific spot on the couch in your living room that becomes “her spot”
- Saebyeok is always the first to wake up. she’ll make coffee for herself and attempt to make toast but burns it. so once you wake up you’ll have to help her with cooking
- she keeps track of important dates, she never needs a reminder for your anniversary or your birthday
- she’s surprisingly good at domestic tasks. years of self-reliance made her practical
- she stress cleans when anxious. you can tell when something’s bothering her
- she loves late night talks. whether it be sharing goals in life or random thoughts, she’ll always enjoy it
- Saebyeok’s protective but not possessive, having learned the difference between love and control
- has trouble accepting gifts but puts incredible thought into giving them. no matter how many people she has to pickpocket, she will get you something she knows you’ve been wanting for a long time
- never makes promises she’s not absolutely certain she can keep
- she always keeps her promises
- Saebyeok keeps a journal of things that make you smile (she won’t ever admit it)
- is secretly good at video games but pretends to be bad so you can “teach” her
- loves sharing airpods with you when you two are on the subway or walking
- has a (secret) playlist of songs that remind her of you
nsfw ౨ৎ
- she’s a top / dom !!! anyone who says different is a liar
- okay and what if i said she’s lowkey into knife play ?? then what
- Saebyeok really focuses on making you feel good. gets satisfaction on seeing you cum
- she’s usually more on the rougher side, but if you want her to be gentle, she will be no questions asked
- “don’t get all shy now. it’s just me.” when you’re getting shy or nervous with her
- mix of praise and degradation !! “you’re so dirty for me.” “you look so pretty cumming on my fingers.”
- could eat you out for the rest of her life
- loves when you wear dresses or skirts cause it gives her the opportunity to slide her hand closer and closer to where you need her. and she knows. but she can’t resist teasing you
- loves fucking you with a strap just because ?? especially in front of a mirror
- sweetest aftercare, so so gentle with you. as if you’re made out of glass
#i need her#kang sae byeok#kang saebyeok#sae byeok#saebyeok#kang sae byeok x reader#kang saebyeok x reader#sae byeok x reader#saebyeok x reader#headcanon#squid game x reader#squid game
252 notes
·
View notes
Note
HII!!
could we please get some kang dae ho x reader??
something where he’s a bit of his usual himbo self and the reader is maybe a bit airheaded— something about two people being in love with one another while the world around them is burning is amazing.
~Flowers in December~
<3 Kang Dae Ho x Reader
requested 💌
authors note: i am amazed by the amount of requests and also so flattered!! I am so happy to get back into writing not only for myself but to be able to make other people happy to see their ideas come to life!! i apologize if this has some flaws i cant wait to get more practice in and promise the next will be better!! feedback is always appreciated! thank you all so much!!<3 -matcha
~~~~~~~~~~~⋆。‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆~~~~~~~~~~~
...
~takes place during the second night~
"we should all take turns keeping watch over the group" player 456 urged as the warning for lights out echoed throughout the room, the rest of the group silently agreeing- trusting the man who claimed to have been in one of the previous games, leaving as the sole survivor. you were, as were many others, reluctant to believe that he had done all of this before, but after his help in the first game and joining his team for the second, you grew to trust him; and the other members of your group. the man that had been assigned your partner for keeping watch was coincidentally a member you were drawn to specifically- at first because he was close to your age, his boyish face making you feel a little less scared and alone in the second game, and eventually you appreciated his outward personality and kindhearted confidence, a stark contrast to the situation you both were in. as you sat together, although trying to protect your group from whatever could happen in the dark room, you felt even safer. "how in the world did you pull that off?" you broke the silence with a whisper, referring to him playing gonggi in the previous game. "my hands were shaking so badly i could barely even hold my ddakji." he laughs, a bit louder than he should have given the people sleeping, but it made you smile. "i told you all i played with my sisters!" he chuckles. "you said you know how to do it yeah," you retorted, stifling a giggle at him being unaware of the compliment. "you didn't tell us you were amazing at it, that was a surprise." he turns away, embarrassed of how deeply your compliment made him grin and scared you'd see him blushing even in the dark. "thank you y/n." he says bashfully as he regains his composure. the silence returns; the reality of where you're both having this conversation threatening to creep back in. his gaze softens as he turns to you again, "you did really well with your ddakji you know, doing it the first try is really impressive, especially given the circumstances." you smile, a toothy grin as not only are you proud of yourself but you appreciate the compliment; especially from him. the kind, authentic way he states how good you did has you unable to find a response. "t-thank you" you say, blushing and still smiling. "it helped that nobody was there, i get nervous when people are watching me." his demeanor changes. he nervously runs his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry if i made you nervous, y/n" he says sincerely. your confusion shows on your face until you realize what he means. "oh no don't worry! i meant the crowd, like how everybody was cheering for the other teams! i didn't want them all to see if i messed up. you watching me helped actually. it made me less nervous." the silence returns; comfortingly. you've forgotten where you are, you've forgotten what would have happened if you'd messed up, all that's on your mind is the man sitting next to you. when you look back he's staring at you. smiling. "thank you for being on my team." you say to him as he turns away, trying to hide how long he was looking at you. you've never seen him speechless before. "if we work together nothing can stand in our way." he said to you just as he said to jung bae before the game. "i am truly honored you feel that way." you half-joke. "what are your plans for tomorrow?" you ask as if youre speaking to him in a normal situation. "oh wait im sorry!" you laugh. "well i bet they're the same as mine then!" you joke about your forgetfulness as well as making light of where you find yourself. like hes done for you, he also had forgotten the events of the day and what followed tomorrow. the two of you talking made him feel as though he was living a good, normal day. it was greatly appreciated by him, your bubbly nature being a moment of solace.
a/n if this is buns at all please lmk what i can do better!!! ⋆。‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆
#squid game x reader#dae ho#dae ho x reader#player 388 x reader#kang dae ho x reader#kang dae ho#squid game#squid game season 2
341 notes
·
View notes
Text
please take this. I made myself cry writing it and I have nothing to say except that putting ya’aburnee and darling by halsey on my jason playlist was a brutal choice. also look up flower language if you want additional feelings.
There’s so many things you want for Jason Todd.
You want him to get a good night’s sleep for once. You let him close his pretty seafoam eyes and lay his head in the crook of your neck as you scratch gently at his scalp. It always calms him down, grounds him in the here and now. Your arms around him, your fingers carding through his hair, the rise and fall of your chest that’s synced with his–it all reminds him that he’s safe, that he’s home. You want that feeling to follow him into his dreams, to let him find true rest. So when his body goes tense and his breathing gets labored, you hold him closer and hum gently into his ear until whatever haunts him in his sleep is chased away by the comfort you bring.
You want to make sure he’s protected. You wish you could deflect every hit, blade, and bullet away from his body. You wish he would see his body as something worth protecting. He would stop if you asked, would settle into a normal life as best as he could. You would never ask because to do so would be to deny the part of him you love most: his heart that beats to help others. So you protect him in the ways that you can. You stitch cuts and treat burns, you mend his jackets and help clean his guns. More than anything, you guard his peace of mind like it’s the most valuable thing in the world. You’re never cruel to him, never scream vicious words or toss him out into the cold night. You call Bruce and thank him for the first edition Jane Austen novels that arrived on your doorstep on August 16th when Jason just…can’t. You let him grip your hand brutally tight under the table when you go to the manor for Thanksgiving for the first time. And when it gets really bad? When he feels the burning of green waters that breathed life into him that he didn’t want, when hideous laughter echoes in a place it’s never been? You do something no one has ever done for him. You wait. You stay. You stay by his side until he can breathe again, until dawn breaks and he can see the light again. And always, always you, haloed in it like an angel he doesn’t think he deserves. He does.
You want him to have a good cup of hot chocolate. He told you about it once when he came home after a long winter patrol. Half delirious from exhaustion, he reminisced about how Bruce would make them both a cup of hot chocolate after particularly rough or successful patrols in December. How this specific hot chocolate had no equal—even Alfred couldn’t replicate the richness and warmth. You noticed the fondness in his voice, the longing so intense that it still makes your heart ache for him. So you do some light stalking and hunt down Tim Drake, demand that he give you the information you want or else you’ll disclose how he really lost his spleen to Bruce (why he was dense enough to tell Jason, you’ll never know). And that is how Bruce Wayne, billionaire philanthropist single father and the Batman, receives an email with the subject line “URGENT: Recipe Request” that reads as follows:
To whom it may concern,
I have been made aware that you have a remarkably compelling hot chocolate recipe that is hitherto unparalleled by cafes, franchises, and butlers alike. I am emailing you to inquire about my being sent this recipe post-haste. This is less a request than a demand. I will do my best to ensure that you, at some point in time not specified (it will take great effort on my part), are able to witness the consumption of the hot chocolate by the individual that will be receiving the product of the recipe.
Best regards,
Someone who loves your son.
Bruce sends the recipe the second he receives the email. He has to sneak his phone under the conference table at the Wayne Enterprises board meeting to do it, but he still manages to reply in two minutes and forty-seven seconds. And you make good on your promise. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jason shine as brightly as he does that Christmas, lit up by the lights on the twelve foot tree as he sips his hot chocolate from the same red mug that’s been sitting in the kitchen cabinet since he last drank from it. The matching black mug is clasped in the hands of the hot chocolate connoisseur himself, who smiles softly like the magic of the season has returned to his life for the first time in ages.
You want him to heal. It’s a big ask; you know that. But you’ve never been one for giving up hope, and if anyone can manage to achieve the impossible, it’s Jason. So you tell him it’s a great idea when he jokes about getting a therapist. You wait for him in the car the first time he goes and you let him open up to you in his own time when he comes out of the appointment body tight as a bowstring and eyes bloodshot. You watch quietly and celebrate the little victories you see him win. He can call his father first now; he doesn’t do it often, but he can. He can talk to his younger brother without hating his hands and the blood that’s been spilled on them, without going out on patrol and intentionally letting all the worst hits make contact. He can go out to lunch with his older brother and his youngest, can laugh with them over that ridiculous thing Bruce did at a gala once to make them all laugh. He can bear his birthday a little bit better now, can accept the cake you bake and actually make a wish when he blows out the candles. But you’ll never know about the moment that you start to get what you want. Jason goes to visit his own grave on the anniversary of his death and finds a bouquet of red carnations, baby’s breath, and honeysuckle with a note in your handwriting that reads “Someone told me once that you were magic, that that was the best thing about you. I think it’s far more important that you were loved. I don’t know what you could’ve been. I don’t wonder about it like those that loved you did because all I know is who you became. He’s wonderful. He’s still magic. I think you’d be proud of him. I’ll do my best to take care of him for you.” He sits there for an hour in tears. Then he takes one bud of each flower and the note, goes home and presses them into the pages of his favorite book. He holds you in his arms in bed that night and feels, for the first time in a long time, a sense of peace down to his very bones.
You want—above all else—Jason Todd to feel loved. You want him to feel so cherished and wanted that he cannot possibly look at himself without realizing that he is something precious, something beloved. So you tell him that you love him and you accept his warm embrace as his way of saying it back. You make him chocolate chip cookies and sneak one into the pocket of his tactical pants when he goes on patrol (they’re soft, they don’t get crunched when he’s thrown from a roof). You read his favorite books to understand what he’s saying when he goes off on tangents about class and social hierarchy and how they governed life in the 19th century. You trace his scars and kiss away his tears when he can’t believe that he could be transformed from a being marred by brutality into a man revered with gentleness. You will love him until the day you both die. You will love him in death, until whatever atoms made up you and him come together again. You will love him until everything that ever is or ever was ceases to be in a supernova of light. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll love him in whatever is born after.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#red hood x reader#red hood x you#remy writes 🖋️#so. uh. this is a lot. my yearning and vast capacity for love consumed me. I’m sorry.
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's also one of the absolute best ways to find MORE fic that will scratch whatever itch brought you to that author in the first place. Because if you click on an author (using one of my faves to demonstrate),
To go to their page,
You can click on this link here,
To find OTHER WORKS THAT AUTHOR ENJOYED READING.
I'm so fucking serious: this is like a Wikipedia rabbit hole but for fanfiction. Many of my absolute favourite fics or writers are ones I discovered by investigating what my current faves are reading and liking well enough to bookmark.
This isn't foolproof obviously. Not everyone uses bookmarks, many people make their bookmarks privately, but if you're stymied by the absolute glut of fic in your favourite tags and want to find something new to read, it's such an amazing place to start. Consider:
If you're finicky about writing style or quality, odds are your favorite fic writer is bookmarking works that jive with their own sensibilities.
You like how they write particular dynamics or tropes or kinks? They probably have their own favorites in those categories. Same goes for motifs or themes.
You want to know what other fandoms might be inspiring them, where you might find content you enjoy as well? Explore what fandoms they are reading fic for, and maybe discover something new! (Case in point; I first learned about Victoria Goddard's books specifically from exploring what @ariaste was reading, and now I LOVE THEM.)
Some tags for fandoms or pairings have tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of fics. Relying only on kudos or bookmark counts to sort through them all isn't a guaranteed way of finding your next fave fic, but washing through years or even decades of stories isn't necessarily feasible. This can also be a fantastic way to uncover hidden or forgotten gems and show older fics some love. You wanna know how you get authors gushing with excitement about someone commenting on their fic from 2007 that they thought had been entirely subsumed by the influx of reboot fans? You follow the rabbit hole!
It's not creepy. It's not stalking. It's not even weird. Users can make their bookmarks private if they choose to, or just bookmark through other means. Looking through what your faves loved enough to save for later is such a great way to replicate the old Internet communities of webrings and message boards, of making recommendations to one another.
And then, don't forget to make your own bookmarks--because you can also go down these rabbit holes by taking a look at who bookmarked that fic you love so much, and seeing what else THEY'VE liked enough to save; and people can do the same with you.
I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.
You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?
Click on their name. And look at their profile.
I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.
"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.
"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.
Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.
Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.
Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.
I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.
Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.
#fandom culture#also ariaste sorry for using you as an example it just felt weirdly self aggrandizing to use myself as an example?
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
– oh, baby | jessie fleming x reader
content: pregnancy blurb, fluff, based on this request!
word count: 820
Blankets, car seat, clothes. Blankets, car seat, clothes. Diapers? No, they have diapers at the hospital. But, what if they run out of the size we need? No, they won’t, they have so many. It wouldn’t hurt to bring some of ours, though, right? You toss a few newborn diapers in your hospital bag, just in case. Do we need bottles? Shoes? Babies don’t even wear shoes. It’s January, though, what if her feet get co–
“Babe?” Jessie interrupts your thoughts, “Why did I find the television remote in the fridge?”
Your eyes land on the remote in your wife’s hand. You were flipping through channels this morning when you had gotten a craving for a mug of hot chocolate. But, if the remote was in the fridge, where was the carton of milk?
“Oh, I was looking for that earlier,” you frowned.
Jessie chuckles, placing the remote on the dresser as she steps toward you. She wraps her arms around your waist belly, her chest pressing against your back. She rests her head on your shoulder, “How are my girls doing?”
You groan, motioning at the half-packed hospital bag and pile of baby supplies strewn across your bed. You were eight months pregnant, and your doctor instructed you to be prepared for your baby girl to make her appearance at any point between now and your actual due date.
“What if I forget to pack something?”
Jessie bites her lip, holding back a laugh, “Sweetheart, I think you’ve packed the entire house.”
You sigh, turning around to sit on the edge of the bed, “I just want to be prepared.”
This was your and Jessie’s first pregnancy, and the stress of the unknowns of parenthood were growing and growing the closer you got to your due date. Your friends had been supportive, giving recommendations on what you did or didn’t need, and things that you could expect during each trimester, but you were terrified for what was to come once it was time to take your baby home. You and Jessie had enrolled in pregnancy and parenting courses, but you couldn’t help but worry about everything the classes didn’t cover.
You stare down at your feet belly as the back of your eyes begin to sting. “I don’t want to mess anything up,” you whisper.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Jessie frowns, kneeling on the floor to look up at your face. She grabs your hand, giving it a squeeze, “You won’t mess anything up.”
“I’m scared, Jess,” you use your free hand to wipe away a few stray tears, “What if I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“I know you’re scared, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also absolutely terrified,” your wife admits, “but I also know that you’ve done everything you can to learn about what to expect, and what we need to prepare for.”
You shake your head, “What if it’s not enough? What if I’m a bad mom?”
“My love,” Jessie frowns, “I promise you there is no way that you will ever be a bad mom. Absolutely no way. Dare I say you’ll be the best mom. I won’t pretend like we’re going to know everything, but I know that even if we don’t, we’re going to figure it out.”
You take a deep breath, biting your lip as you mull over her words. Jessie had been amazing your entire pregnancy, from caring for you when morning sickness kept you in bed most of your first trimester, to running to the store at odd hours of the night for that one specific ice cream that you needed right now. If anyone was going to be the best mom, it was going to be your wife.
“Promise we’ll figure it out?”
“I promise.”
You give Jessie a meek smile, “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“Hush,” she rolls her eyes, moving to sit next to you on the bed, “I love you so much, and I can’t wait to watch you become a mom.”
“I love you more,” you press your lips to hers, “Are we sure she’s going to like her name, though?”
“Y/N.”
“I don’t want her to not like her name!” you giggle.
Jessie shakes her head, but a laugh escapes her lips, “Then we change it. I think little Miss Amelia will like her name just fine, though.”
As if on cue, you feel a foot start pushing into the side of your belly. You shift Jessie’s hand to where your baby was kicking and watch her face light up.
“I think that’s a resounding yes,” your wife’s grin pulls from ear to ear, “Isn’t it, Amelia? You’re kicking hard, aren’t you? Auntie Janine’s going to have you running shooting drills with her as soon as you’re out here, huh?”
You smile, your fears pushed out of your mind, “She already takes after her Mama, doesn’t she?”
#jessie fleming#jessie fleming fanfic#jessie fleming imagine#jessie fleming one shot#jessie fleming x reader#woso#woso community#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso one shot#woso soccer#canwnt x reader#canwnt#canxnt
148 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey!! can i req hcs of hyun-ju with an s/o that’s a singer?? not even like an actual singer but just someone who loves to sing 😋😋
- hyun-ju with a singer partner hc's: ★
featuring: hyun-ju cho x reader
summary: one of your special talents is singing, and that pleases your girlfriend a lot.
warnings: none
genre: fluff
A/N: this is such an interesting request! I honestly had no idea on what to do first, but i managed. :33
★ . ★ . ★ . ★
➤ First off, i have a feeling that Hyun-ju is not really the type that listens to too much music. Don't get me wrong, it isn't like she doesn't enjoy it, she just doesn't have the time or that much interest.
So i think that her musical taste consists on what's trending or what you listen and show her. Meaning that if she ever hear you singing or humming to a random song, she will not get the reference. Unless you listened or showed her the song before, she will not manage to guess which song you are singing.
She cares a lot about your interests and hobbies, meaning she will want to mingle in what you are into (even if she doesn't get it). So these specific situations are not unexpected and unusual:
"Are you singing that one song you showed me last week that had a butterfly in the album's cover?" she asked excitedly after hearing you hum a melody while helping her wash the dishes.
"Hyun-ju, it's the soundtrack from the movie we watched yesterday."
At least she tries.
But seeing it from another point of view, she really enjoys hearing your voice. As i mentioned before, she doesn't have time to stop and listen to music. So hearing your tuneful voice always soothes her greatly.
Your number one fan. Asks you to sing "that one song you hummed when you two were getting back home on thursday" and gets sad if you don't recognize it.
LIKES WHEN YOU SING FOR HER TO SLEEP‼️ Her days are really stressful due to many factors, so when you sing with what she calls a "perfect lyrical voice", it puts her to sleep in a minute.
Overall: your biggest fan. Don't spend more than a week without singing or she will be feeling like her favorite bad just disbanded.
★ . ★ . ★ . ★
#cho hyunju#hyun ju x reader#player 120#cho hyun ju x reader#squid game#squid game headcanons#squid game x reader#squid game x y/n#squid game x you#cho hyun-ju x reader
151 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi Mark! i noticed in "#1202: Psychology" you didn't make any mention of the two aesthetic profiles Vorthos and Mel, and i was wondering whether any of the decisions being made specifically take them into consideration. like i ask this because one of the biggest changes to Magic this year (UB coming to standard) is something Vorthos care the most about but it seems like nothing has been done to directly address them as an audience
The aesthetic profiles aren't rooted in psychology like the psychographics, so that's why I didn't touch upon them in the psychology podcast. I'll probably do another aesthetics podcast one day (I did one as part of my "20 Lessons" series) and I'll talk about them there.
The concept of Vorthos, at its core, is about appreciating the creative elements of card design above all else. Many Vorthos adore Universes Beyond because we've done a very good job at capturing the various properties in Magic card design form.
But yes, there's a subgroup of Vorthoses that care specifically about Magic's creative world building, characters, and story. We're spending a lot of time and energy to make sure the products set in the Magic multiverse are doing a good job of representing it. 2024 had many successes (Bloomburrow, Duskmourn, and Foundations) in this area, but also some failures (Murders at Karlov Manor and Outlaws of Thunder Junction). The creative team is trying to learn from them and lean more towards the type of creative execution that make this group of Vorthoses happy.
As I've been saying a lot, Magic excels at being additive, but has issues with being subtractive. If you want cool Magic settings and characters and stories, we can and will continue to do that. If you want us to stop doing non-Magic settings, characters, and stories, I can't help you there. There's a big audience that enjoys that and so we're making it for them.
I do hear that there are players that are sad that non-Magic elements will mix in gameplay with Magic elements. There will be many limited formats, and a few constructed formats (like Cube or Premodern) where you can avoid that if it's important to you, but the number of players who will only play with in-Multiverse components is low enough that it's not something we're focusing on in the main sanctioned formats.
It's not that I'm not sympathetic. Go back ten years and I was one of you. I fought hard against non-Magic elements for many years. What finally swayed me was seeing how much I enjoyed it when a license that I truly loved got brought to Magic. There's something so exciting, so glee producing about combining two loves, that I became a convert. I want to make people as happy as I was made.
I know this isn't the answer you want to hear. I try to use this blog to be as honest with all of you as I can. Magic keeps changing and evolving because we try to do things that players will love, and there are a lot of players that truly love Universes Beyond.
That said, we're not abandoning in-Multiverse Magic. We're still making three sets a year (the standard for the majority of Magic's life), and we're truly taking to heart the lessons of 2024 (more worlds that are our carefully crafted take on the tropes and less just a place to show them off). Making the Magic multiverse the most compelling and exciting thing possible is still our goal, and there are a lot of people working really hard to continue to do that.
I think the future is bright for the Vorthoses, but I truly understand why some of you are sad with Universes Beyond coming to Standard.
113 notes
·
View notes
Text
prince!carlos x noblewoman!reader au blurb
as the daughter of a lord, you had a duty to your family to enter into an advantageous marriage. you had always been beautiful, attracting many suitors over the years, but none who had caught your specific interest. what you didn’t know was that you had caught the eye of the very handsome, and very eligible, prince of the kingdom.
prince!carlos who sees you across the room at a ball, enraptured by your striking beauty. he is drawn to you magnetically, abandoning his conversation with his father, the king, to pursue you across the room. he pushes through the lords and ladies on the dance floor, craning his neck to pinpoint you in your baby blue dress. he is finally able to approach you, bowing his head to you respectfully. he asks for a dance and you graciously accept, too shocked to do anything else.
prince!carlos who writes you letters after that night at the ball, inquiring more about your interests. he delights in receiving your replies, penned with swirly script and light strokes of ink. he sent gifts to your family home based on what you wrote in your letters. dozens upon dozens of bouquets of lilacs which you explained were your favorite, boxes of books to expand your personal library which you spent hours upon hours in, and a stunningly beautiful woven basket since you mentioned picnicking was how you spent your sunday afternoons. it was refreshing to receive this type of attention, as most previous suitors were only concerned with your beauty and the connections of your family. no one had ever tried this hard to capture your affection.
prince!carlos who arrives at your estate to ask your father’s permission to court you, even though he technically doesn’t need it. he wanted to make sure he was obeying by all the rules of polite society, even though his status as the prince omitted him from many of these formalities. he respected you and your family, and didn’t want to make you feel lesser than. your father heartily gave his consent, pleased at the prince’s chivalry as well as his own luck. carlos hurried out to where you waited in the garden, capturing you in his warm embrace as you held each other happily.
prince!carlos who took you horseback riding on the palace grounds for some bonding time. you both shared a love for animals, especially your horses. you raced through the trees on your mare, not minding how the branches ripped holes in your dress or how the whipping wind mussed your hair, looking back ever so often to see carlos chasing you with a grin.
prince!carlos who eagerly introduced you formally to his parents, the king and queen, after a few weeks of courting. they were delighted to meet you and agreed with him, in secret, you would make a wonderful princess and future queen to the realm. they welcomed you with open arms to the family, making you feel like you truly belonged. he took you around on a tour of the castle, introducing you to all the staff you would sure be seeing again soon if things kept going the way they were. he walked you through the halls with his hand on the small of your back to guide you, respectful but intentional.
a/n - carlos gives such chivalrous prince vibes i love him. part 2 will be more nsfw, but rn i'm obsessed with writing cute stuff!
have au ideas? send them in!
masterlist here
#f1#formula 1#carlos sainz#ferrari#williams racing#f1 x reader#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz au#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fluff#f1 imagine#carlos sainz fanfic#prince!carlos au#cinnabun writes#carlos sainz blurb#princess#bridgerton#royalty au
92 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi! I'm a big fan of your art, and I just wanted to know, did you study the WOY art style? I'm asking because the way you draw each character, Hater especially, is so expressive! Do you have any tips with expressions? Thank you!
thank you so much!! and to kinda answer your question: while what i do is, technically, studying, that's not what it feels like. i genuinely just enjoy looking at character sheets. a lot of the time they'll include little notes about things you wouldn't think about unless you're told to, like wander's eyes typically angling towards each other at the bottom or sylvia's eyes obscuring the full width of her neck.
(i have any one of these open in my reference panel almost always! not only are these full of tips & tricks for your everyday sketching, they're full of rules for each character, which are meant to be broken in interesting and fun ways.)
[im gonna pack a bunch of other, tangentially related tips and tricks and thoughts into the readmore, including my personal breakdown of hater's expressions specifically, so feel free to give it a click. long post ahead]
a lot of stuff can be picked up by just watching the cartoon as many times as you want. i have watched every episode (minus big fucking baby episode, which i hate) like 6 times over, sometimes more (looking at you the rager), and that has definitely solidified my wander over yonder visual library.
also, wander over yonder's art style already fits in with the way i draw, because i LOVEE long curvy lines and super crisp & clear silhouettes!!
as for why/how i get hater so expressive.... that mainly has to do with the fact that i think he's So Cute. He's So Cute and i wanna Squash Him. and his character design reflects that!!!
his hood is his eyebrow and his eyes may or may not be rolling around in their sockets, and his nose is a little upside down heart. but all of the lord hater emotion is stored in the chin. lord hater has a bunch of specific and VERY malleable options for mouth shapes, depending on what makes the expression and lipsync look clearest.
you can keep it super simple, with a clear divide between his top and bottom jaw, and do several round bumps for teeth, which they do a lot when tweening, like this:
this kind of seems to be his default state, depending heavily on the episode and when it was made and who was drawing him the most, of course.
you can also keep his jaw and skull distinct, but keep his teeth straight and flush with each other, which helps for sharper expressions, esp. anger or frustration, but can also work for a good "squee". he also sometimes pouts so hard his chin eats his mouth, which is, again, cute.
if you're having trouble keeping an expression clear while also maintaining the distinction between his jaw and the rest of his skull, it's pretty common also to forego most of the overt skeleton bits, save for a few hatch marks to indicate teeth (sometimes squiggles or bumps, when he's yelling about it). in my head i affectionately refer to this style of hater expression as the "peanut sans"
none of these convey the intensity of emotion you're looking for? fear not, you can also always just go Full Skeleting. and give his teeth a full outline. this is great for Pain and Strain and Nefariousness.
and then there are a million expressions in between and possibilities within these parameters beyond your wildest belief. nothing should hold you back from a really fucked-up lord hater expression. not proportion. not structure. ESPECIALLY not symmetry. please. make his chin bigger. make his head bigger. make one eye bigger. make him look in two different directions. scrunch his nose up. whatever it takes. by all means. i implore you to have fun
(honorable mention. his W face. the face when he says the consonant W. sometimes OO. i'm. obsessed. with it . he looks. kity)
anyway. lord hater tangent aside. i could also share my own process for expressions, but it really just hinges on what looks appealing/what i like the most/what communicates the emotion i want to communicate the clearest, and it varies between characters and people.
it helps to, again, build your visual library, and look at lots and lots of funny faces, both in real life and in cartoons you like. make funny faces in the mirror and try to focus on what parts of your face change shape or interact with other parts of your face when you do something like smile really wide or drop your jaw. your skin is taut, and there's a bunch of muscle and fat attached to your bones, so when one big bone moves, a bunch of muscles and fat under the surface will shift around too, and understanding that relationship is really helpful in the long run, both for drawing real people and for drawing cartoons.
and the easiest way to retain information like that is to have fun while you study. stop thinking of it as studying and start thinking of it as gathering information on this thing you like a lot and want to do more of, like when you scroll through someone's account to look at all their art, and just. do more of that. do more exploring and observing. since animation is my special interest, this part is pretty easy for me, but it does still take practice to get into that mindset, especially when you convince yourself you have to be super strict and rigid to make it in the art world. focus on drawing and observing what makes YOU happy first, and everything else will follow.
and don't worry about taking notes. don't worry about remembering everything you look at. just look at things you like, and think about them for longer than you usually would. think about the shapes and colors. what makes that drawing so darn appealing to you, besides subject matter and the vague concept of an "artstyle"? you'll be surprised just how abstract what appeals to you can be. for me, with expressions especially, it comes down to random shit like "i like when the edge of a character's mouth creates a tangent with the outline of their head" instead of "pretty eyes" or other, vaguer elements. and that shit i like becomes a part of my artstyle, but only when it fits in and looks appealing, because you can't do stuff like this in every single drawing & retain a full range of expression
ANYway. i hope this made some sense/helped at least a little. i like lord hater a lot. and i also like to draw
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stargirl - han jisung.
A small birthday present for my favorite person @stargirl-gigi <3 i love you so much more than words could ever explain and i'm so thankful for your existence. Happy birthday my love 🤍🤍
11:50 P.M
The screen of your phone stares back at you, glaringly bright in the darkness of your own room. It’s nearly midnight, hours treading towards the end of your birthday and you tell yourself you should be lolling into sleep by now. And yet it’s persisting in its visit. It feels unjust, specifically after spending almost the entirety of your day outside. Your laughter filling the streets with happiness and surrounded by the love infused chatter of your friends. So much love.
Albeit the moment you stumbled into your bed it’s like today was nothing more than an imagination that you had swiped through without much thought. There’s bitterness that lingers in your mouth, a longing forcing your heart to weep out in pathetic unanswered callings. You crack open your window, ushering the moonlight in and pretend you don’t know what your heart is crying for.
It's all deemed worthless the moment your phone dings – with a ringtone you had set specifically for him – You have told yourself you should change it multiple times. Tried to convince yourself that you shouldn't back yourself in a corner with how specially different you treat him.
Alas here you are.
11:55 P.M
Your eyes widen ever so slightly, your heart picking speed and you curse yourself for the anticipation coursing through your fingers. Urging you to peek at your phone, to feed the gaping hole pulsating in the middle of your chest. An ever so foolish yearning heart. And perhaps the moonlight is only another witness to you kicking your pride under your bed, and perhaps it will cackle at you if it ever spoke, perhaps the way it shines brighter once you sit up and reach for your phone on the bedside table is all in your head.
Jisung: Are you awake?
You don’t reply and he doesn’t say it, but you know, you always know and so when you’re out of your bed and opening the door to your apartment next. Jisung is standing outside, shrouded in a gray hoodie you have seen him in way too many times. You’re almost breathless when your eyes meet, and you only pray the moon won’t snitch on you. Spilling all your longing throughout the light that infiltrates his dark hair strands and you pray your eyes don’t betray your missing when he smiles with the same bitterness that lingered in you all night.
11:59 P.M
“Happy birthday.” He whispers, softly and tenderly. It’s cruelled in the way it drowns you in the depths of your emotions yet again. Bringing them back to life with newfound intensity and all the cruses you have memorized all day long dwindle down on your tongue. Melting away with all the anger and resentment you have mastered up all these past months you have not seen him.
A braver version of you, one that isn’t stitched together by an aching need for him and an even deeper ache to look at him would slam the door shut in his face. The you right now welcomes him in your space like there’s no other place for him to belong.
Silence is heavy as it paints the air, you awkwardly move the boxes of gifts you have gotten and Jisung lingers behind just as bunglingly. Pushing down his hood and ruffling his hair. Every sound feels intensified; his breathing has chills running down your spine.
“Is that a ghostface action figure?” His tone is woven with excitement, and you follow his gaze.
“Yeah...” You mumble, your tone is heavier than you’d like, and it dims his excitement. You avert your eyes elsewhere, somewhere far from him and yet not far enough it seems because you almost hear your heart screaming for him.
“Looks sick.” He replies, quieter and tinted with suffocation, the same one circling in the air and you let out a breath just as quiet as your eyes find him.
You hold your longing in your throat, in your stomach and the leash of restraint triggers. You closed your eyes, sealed your lips for far too long and right in this moment when he looks back at you, gaze clouded with a different million emotions you’re splitting open. Vomiting heartbreak, sharpened by a feverish urge to have him all to yourself.
“Why weren’t you there?” you ask, and his eyes widen ever so slightly, ever so temporarily as if he wasn’t expecting you to ask. And then a nervous chuckle is pushed out his lips – humorless – as he scratches his neck.
“I was busy working at the studio.” It’s an empty excuse, you know it by now, have known it for the past months he kept uttering it to you over and over again.
“Changbin and Bangchan were there. Everyone else was there but you.” you should let it go. You’re aware digging at this will only ever result in pain and yet you can’t stop not when the clock ticks 12 and you have grown numb from waiting.
“I’m sorry…” He speaks after a few lingering moments of silence and his eyes are drifting, fleeting in their hold onto you. You almost want to scoff. The darkness remains and the moon cackles at you again. His eyes are always running away from you, and you’d rather be buried than yearning.
“I haven’t seen you in months,” you say, wishing it came out as a berate but instead it’s weakened by your eyes – filled with twisted desire – one that feels like you’re not allowed to feel “are you avoiding me?” you ask, pressing for answers, something that will end this suffering of yours, something that will help you not feel like a mere notch of time.
“I’m really sorry.” This time you scoff out loud and you wish for answers rather than apologies. It’s why you’re kneeling into silence that doesn’t stretch long enough for you to gather up your emotions and lock them up.
You have kept yourself locked away for so long so why tonight of all times seems to feel like a failing task. An impossible one that you cannot seem to master.
“Do you just not want me in your life anymore?” you whisper, looking down and chewing on your bottom lip as if you’re afraid the louder your voice will get the harsher the truth tumbling out his lips will be. The harsher they will cut.
You’d rather be buried than yearning.
Because truth is you have been in love with Jisung for as long as you remember. You belonged to him the moment you laid eyes on him and haven’t been able to take back your pieces ever since. Not that you wished to anyways. It was a scary feeling, inflating so big inside of you as if it was always there, as if it just needed the sunray to bloom and his smile was all it took. Before you knew it your heart felt deserted without him and love for him exists within you like the lines across your palms. And yet you’re so scared to look at him and witness your worst nightmares come to life. It’s one that you thought of a lot of times before, one that had you curling up in anxiety and calling for him alone; losing him.
It's the sole reason you sacrificed your soul. Stamped with foolish lies like being friends with him as if you hadn’t looked at him with the devotion of a lover.
In a mere moment Jisung has closed the distance between you two, a look of betrayal on his face as if he can’t believe what you said and you wonder why he’s stepping on your heart as if you just didn’t offer it to him.
“How could you say that?” his eyes are widened with a tempest of confusion and when your eyes dart between his, the air feels heavier as it travels through your lungs. The space between you two is not small enough and yet you’re closer to choking than anything “How could you say that to me I- holy fuck do you even realize – “his words are tangled and messy like wildflowers. Scattered and lost with meaning, direction and it’s thanks to the way you keep looking up at him so softly. His ribcage tightens around his heart, and he lets out a breath “I wrote you a song.”
“What?” your brows furrow and he runs his hand through his hair. Something akin to frustration coming to life in the knot between his.
“I wrote you a song because I couldn’t fucking stop thinking about you and now you – “ he stops himself and your heart starts beating impossibly fast, a song that’s only ever breathed to life whenever you’re around him and you feel your longing, yearning explode. Spreading across your face and seeping into your eyes and they’re begging “Never mind.” He breaths, rushed and draping its disappointment on you “I should go i- I don’t know.”
Before you have enough time to gather a singular word that he said he’s already turning away from you. Your feet are glued to the ground with strives to wrap your head around the mess you two seem to constantly find yourselves in. A beat, then a second and for an evanescent split second you wonder if you should let him go. If perhaps all these bent up feelings that have been collecting are nothing but a rope of poison slowly strangling you to death. But rather anything you’re a slave to your heart.
What are you if not over loving, over feeling?
By the time you’re after him, hand curled around his wrist it is already too late, Jisung has a part of you and you’re shaking your head.
“Don’t go.” You tell him and his expression breaks into the same longing you watch in the mirror every passing moment he’s not here “Stay and tell me. Sing me your song.” You say, ask, wish, pray and it’s all between your teeth. All these wishes you have been keeping score of and it is too late.
Your touch burns his wrist, and his own charade falls apart faster than your blink of an eye. It’s like the minute you touch him everything is crumbling and he’s no longer pressing down on his neck to keep it together. In his dreams you’re a secret he can’t tell anyone about but right now he’s backing you into the nearest wall with his hands cradling your face as if you’re the most precious thing he had the pleasure of touching. The world narrows down to nothing but the ringing of your heartbeat in your ears and his shaky breaths. The space between your lips is almost nonexistent and you’re exchanging breaths like a drowned soul coming up for air.
“You have no idea what you do to me. Do you?” he whispers and it’s not really a question rather a declaration. Pulled from the depths of his being and you welcome it with warmth.
“Jisung..” your hot breath is fanning across his lips and he swallows back nothing, feel your eyes squeeze the last drop of sanity he was holding onto. He rests his forehead against yours “Shh. Shh” His hand slowly travels from your cheek to your palm, holding it tenderly and placing it atop where his heart is
“Can you feel that?” he asks breathlessly, gaze pouring into yours as you feel his wild heartbeat reverberates against your palm. A stranger urge to tattoo every beat into your essence has your eyes softening.
“Yes.” You whisper back timidly and then you’re leaning closer, nose brushing against his “Me too.” You tell him, closing your eyes “I feel the same.”
“No.” He shakes his head, squeezing your palm on his chest “You don’t understand. What I feel for you is- nothing like a human can feel. It’s something out of this world. I-“ A labored breath, and his fingers tremble around your cheek that only could be an evidence of love, such yearning. It drips from his eyes when you look at him “You make me want to rearrange the stars and place you in between them.” He confesses and the way your eyes fill with tears quickly could only be an unveiling of your own feelings, laced with something so you, something he’s so addicted to.
Jisung has never been good at speaking his feelings but you, you make him want to try and fail only to try again, only to spill your name across every star. Scribble your words into every poem and there’s no love if not for you.
“All I think about is you – all I think about is loving you. you have consumed me completely. I don’t know –“ he’s drawing you closer, his heartbeat accelerating as his lips almost touch yours “I don’t know what it’s like not to love you and I’m scared I’m gonna regret this. I’m scared I’m gonna scare you away but fuck-”
“You will never scare me away Jisung.” Your mumbles are comfort spreading its wings across his chest and he shakes his head again with a strangled huff, pushed out with deafened ears and an overwhelming intensity that wraps around his fragile heart.
“I don’t think you understand I don’t think you’re listening to me – “
“I am Jisung. I am listening.”
“No, no.” he cradles your face closer to his with a shush. Both of you are breathing heavily as if oxygen have been sucked from the room, fled somewhere unreachable if not between your mouths “I love you. do you know what that means? Do you know what it’s like to stop talking to you for months in hopes of forgetting you? only to end up feeling like a fucking loser because I can’t write anything if it’s not about you? do you understand?” there’s desperation woven in his tone, tinting his gaze when he finally captures yours and then they’re softening like melted candle wax.
Like a blazing fire, burning for you and you thread your fingers through the spaces between his, right atop his heart. If you listen closely, you swear you could hear whispers – callings of your name.
“I understand.” You smile and it blankets his being with warmth, his stars shine brighter “I feel the same.” You whisper hoarsely against his lips and right before your eyelids fall shut, he sees the moon glistening and he finally surrenders, closing the space between you two and interlocking his lips with yours.
It’s unhurried – tender as if the time of the world is in the palm of his hands and he can bend it to his will. A sweetness spreads throughout your limbs, like honey despite the salty rivulets of tears across your cheeks.
“Say it.” He murmurs between kisses, whiny and desperate as he presses you further into the wall, wishing he could melt his body onto you, wanting, no, knowing he’s nothing but a part of you “Tell me you feel the same.”
“I love you too,” you tell him and for the first time in a long time you feel touched and not harmed. For the first time you don’t need to swallow down his name but rather speak it into the world because the sun will not shine, this night shall last for an eternity.
“Again,” he asks, pulling back enough to rest his forehead against yours. His heart aches not in despair for you but in prayers that this isn’t some stupid dream of his and if he did somehow only have you in his dream he hopes to never wake up.
“I love you.” you answer with your thumb swiping across his cheek, and he shudders.
“Again. Tell me again.” His chest heaves and you understand, how one lifetime isn’t close to enough “Please tell me again.” Your hands are gentle on him, they move like water and when you lean forward pressing kisses into his cheek, trailing a map of affection that leads to his mouth and then you’re kissing him once, twice and the third comes with a whisper, a promise.
“I love you Jisung.”
He stays and just like you had hoped night feels like it stretches long enough for him to imprint every word of love on every part of your skin. The walls of your bedroom memorize every sound, every whisper and when you’re drifting to sleep with your head buried in the crook of his neck. He’s humming a song; your song and you’re too drowned in exhaustion to focus really, yet the lyrics echo in your mind over and over again. A lullaby that has your heart singing along and your essence tangling with his.
My heart’s gone out of it,
I wander the streets in search of something I can’t find
But then you are here, and I am with you
There you are, my Stargirl.
#han jisung x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#han x reader#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids x you#han jisung x you#han jisung#stray kids
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌧"Hm, we don't really have those kind of luxuries nor the necessity for them, so I just dive head in even if its pouring. I do enjoy rain quite a lot. It's refreshing."
🍳"Well, I'm not exactly the best, but I do know how to make the most basic of things. Sigh, I do wish I had the chance to learn how to cook something more cool and interesting, but oh well. Oh, surprisingly enough, I do. I used to hate any and all kind of chores before, but now it's just something you can shut off your mind for and do on autopilot. Mmm, probabaly omelets. No particular reasons, I just think it's neat."
🧼"It's not like we get much of a choice. In this economy, we shower whenever we can. I do enjoy showering, but I haven't gotten many chances to bathe before, so I can't really tell anything. Again, it's a miracle if we find gel in this situation."
❌️"Obviously I would. It does depend on who is telling me what, but just in general, I would. Hmm... Probabaly Crane. He's seen some shit and has a good base of knowledge about the world, more than me and Aiden have."
🏳️"Well, it's hard to say right now. I can't really imagine anything that would make me give up, but there's probabaly something. Like, maybe if I was in complete despair? I don't know, hard to say."
📖"Gosh, don't even get me started on books! I really, really love books. I've always loved reading books even as a child. I mostly favored fantasy and detective novels and sometimes romance I suppose. Queer romance specifically because. Well. Guess. I wouldn't say I have a lot of opportunities to read in that sense that new books that I haven't read are a rare thing to find right now."
⛸️"I'm not... too into sports, to be fair. Would parkour count as a sport? Probabaly not right now. Hm... I guess Carnage Hall fights would be considered a sport? In that case, I don't really follow that stuff at all."
😷"I have an average immune system, so I don't get sick too much. Well, 'staying at home' right now isn't exactly an option, however, when I get sick, I tend to not overwhelm myself with chores, but don't stay in bed all day either. Well, medical masks are surprisingly hard to find, and just regular clothing pieces won't do much, so I tend to stay away from people or be very careful around them."
🥼"No, I don't. Hm, what kind of uniform... To be fair, and don't quote me on this, but Renegade uniform looks sick as Hell."
🥂"Huh, I never really thought about it. I guess I just pat myself on the back or don't really acknowledge them at all."
🛴"Parkour. It's probabaly impossible to get around on a bike in this environment, but it would be nice if I could. Traffic rules aren't really a thing right now, so eh."
🕰"Hm... Now that I think about it, we don't do that too much? Or I suppose we just use the sun as our guide most of the time. Or Peacekeeper sirens or church bells if it's in Old Villedor."
🥰"There's many things that can make me... Well, not happy, but bring some kind of positive feelings for sure. As for loved... I don't know how to answer that."
🐇"I don't. I prefer to live in the now and here. Believing in this kind of thing would be an escapism method for me, and I prefer not to do that."
🎺"I'm getting tired of saying it, but there's not much choice we have nowadays. I'm starting to sound like my grandma... I think. But, if I had to chose from all the songs I know, my current choice would be that tape that Aiden showed me recently. I don't know its name, but it goes like... 'Some people cheat, some people sin, but ohhhhh I play to win, tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-u-u-u-u-u,' and so on. Sorry, I'm not the best singer. Mm, no, not really. Never had a chance to learn. Probabaly the violin. I heard it's a difficult instrument, which is one of the things that intrigues me about it."
💽"Yes! I like collecting books, newspapers from the 'old times,' audio tapes and stuff like that. Really to collect information. But especially books. There isn't a particular reason, I just enjoy doing it. Or I suppose the reason would be that I want to know as much as possible about Villedor and its life and how life was for other people in the hot of the apocalypse."
🧋"Tea. By God how much I love tea. Especially black tea with thyme. I can't even explain it, I just do. My second top tea is from a specific brand, but it's also black tea with apple and... and some other berry. I don't know its name in English. Oh, that entirely depends on the season and how I'm feeling. But generally, I lean more towards warm or hot drinks."
🌻 random in-character questions
an ask game where, instead of replying from your perspective, you answer as if it's your original character/muse/self-insert/etc. answering the question ✨
🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"
🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"
🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"
❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"
🏳️ "What will make you give up?"
📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"
⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"
😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"
🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"
🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"
🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"
🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"
🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"
🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"
🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"
💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"
🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Apprentice 1/?
Chapter One; Deer, Fox, or Rabbit?
Pairing; Viktor x Vampire!Reader Warnings; none too extreme? Blood drinking (animal), mainly just yappers yapping about things. it’s a little twilight coded, so what?? sue me! Word Count; 7.9k
Summary; Finding an Apprentice should be easy. You have a simple task, one that cannot be handled lightly. Yet, the mind is a unique thing, and each one you've come across don't seem to meet your specific qualifications. Until your dear friend and confidant, Heimerdinger, brings forth a man with a bright ambition and a determination that could rival anyone.
A/n; oh god,, another series?? this one ahs been cooking for the last few days, and after finishing arcane and igniting my LOVE for Viktor, i decided it was time to try my hand at writing him :>> my darling friend @disturbyn beta read this so I’m no longer liable for financial instability!
THIS IS NOT EDITED!
DO NOT COPY, REPOST ON OTHER SITES, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION!
“My dear friend,” a voice chimes, and you smile. Dropping to a knee, you open your arms to greet him with a brief hug. He was warm, fur soft as it touched your cheek. He pulls away, and with bright eyes he says your name. He was dressed in his usual councilman attire, blue fabric complimented with gold.
“Councilor Heimerdinger, what a pleasant sight to see.”
He waves you off, stepping away to give you a glare “drop the formalities, would you?”
Shrugging, you rise to your full height, tipping your head to your driver who opened your door. The streets of Piltover were bustling with life, people walking in and out of the building. The sun was shining brightly, no cloud in the sky, the buildings of Piltover glimmering and dazzling. On the rare occasions that you visit, the city never fails to amaze you with its beauty. More innovations included, more steps into the future.
Even with your jacket on, it was cold outside. The air was biting at your cheeks as you walked the stairs, body shivering as the wind wrapped your body. Heimerdinger couldn’t tell the difference, his thick fur protecting his small body from the elements.
Unless it was raining, then you would see him running for any kind of shelter.
“I find it customary, dear friend,” you jest, beginning to climb the steps of the building. It was large, almost doubling the size of the one from the last Inventors Competition you attended. It was hosted in Piltover this year, situated right between the heart of the city, and the bridge that leads to Zaun. The building was a museum, repurposed for the day. Three sets of double doors were propped open, allowing people to freely go in and out. Marble steps lead the way up, the chains on your boots clinking with each step you take.
“Yet, you’ve arrived late,” Heimerdinger says, “not very customary of you, my dear.”
“Eh,” you shrug, “I doubt my presence was missed.”
He shakes his head, “most have already asked for an audience with you. You’re going to come across many disappointed faces, I fear.”
“Aw, poor babies,” you kiss your teeth, stopping in the doorway to look around the room. Multitudes of tables were set up to hold different inventions. Most of the crowd had already moved on, the aisles free to roam comfortably.
Although you’d have rather stayed home, there was a nagging that stayed consistent in your mind. It whispered to you during the night, while you tried to work, while you roamed the empty halls of your estate.
Oh, sweet death. It would sing, a symphony without the strings.
Heimerdinger's letters on the subject once brought you annoyance, but this year, you decided to indulge him. Months of writing, planning your short visit, tell you what to expect from some of his students. You tried to keep an open mind, but as you survey the room from your standing point, you find mirrors of what you’ve seen before.
He chuckles, and you nod to the enforcers that stand beside the doors. They barely glance your way, all zoned in your own worlds as they try to stay awake.
Even with your jacket on, it was cold outside. The air was biting at your cheeks as you walked the stairs, body shivering as the wind wrapped your body. Heimerdinger couldn’t tell the difference, his thick fur protecting his small body from the elements.
Unless it was raining, then you would see him running for any kind of shelter.
“Tell me,” you muse, “anything promising?”
“That all depends on what you’re looking for,” he smiles, “the entries this year are very promising, I should add.”
Finally making your way into the building, you start down one of the rows, briefly reading off the small cards that line the table. It was intriguing, seeing what the human mind can create. Each one was different, promising innovation and change for the ones who needed it the most. Some were simple, a new irrigation method, a new tool to help with surgery. Others were more intricate, a way to heal broken bones faster, a way to grow taller or thinner in a matter of days.
Heimerdinger continued to talk at your side, keeping with your slow pace. His voice was bright and joyous, a singing tone that contrasted to yours. He spoke enough for the both of you, and as time passed you’d grown accustomed to his hyperactive personality. Always easy to pick out of the crowd, various voices meshing together in one large mass that you tried to ignore.
“The last time I was here,” you break the silence, glancing down at bright blue eyes, “you told me I’d be impressed with the entries.”
He pauses, looking at you with narrowed eyes and a twitching lip, “I was correct then, just as I am correct now-”
“Eh,” you wince, scrunching your face up and rocking a hand side to side, “I’d say-”
He cuts you off, speaking over you, it makes you laugh. Holding your hands in surrender at his stern tone, “New minds bring new innovations, different outlooks that we haven’t thought of. It’s brilliant, what the mind can do without restrictions.”
Stopping at the end of the table, you reach out to grab a small device, painted an array of blues and pinks that resemble a chomping shark. On the side was a pin, your thumb brushing over it, nodding your head once and setting it back down. Next to it was a small card, the dimensions, components, and its purpose all messily written.
“Brilliant. Yet, the council never seizes what can excel the cities.”
Heimerdinger huffs, “Many trials can take years to complete, and other items do not get chosen.”
Humming, you choose not to argue. It was something that would always come up between you both. With him on the council, you liked to poke fun. Liked to make jabbing remarks that would cause his fur to bristle, his foot to stomp. He didn’t pick up on it until years later, and stopped indulging your antics. Tonight, you suppose he forgot. The excitement of young minds filled the air, cheerful laughter and jittering tones that spoke too fast.
The back of the crowd was already making their way into the main ballroom, where all inventors and potential patrons would speak of partnerships and opportunities. Sometimes you wouldn’t even make it to that room, instead heading home after surveying the array of inventions.
“Has the ranking already been released?” You ask, turning down another aisle. Boots tapping against the tiled floor, you brush down the front of your jacket before continuing. Most things mirrored each other, mostly the same except for a slight difference. It makes you smile, seeing the small things added. A simple touch of a difference that brought out the mind of the inventor. A different paint, a different metal, a different bolt or screw. It was all intentional to them, all things different that make them human.
“Ah! Indeed! Announced just before your arrival-” He jumps, reaching into his jacket to bring out a piece of paper. It was pristine, decorated with gold and black ink. He handed it to you with a smile, and you looked over it with a raised eyebrow. From left to right, was the ranking, name, age, and small description of each entry. In tiny numbers besides that, was where each person could be found. You briefly look over each description, coming up empty handed on what you were interested in.
Fourth Place, Ekko ---, 13, ---
Third Place, Powder ---- , 12, ---
Second Place, Jayce ---, 23, ---
First Place, Viktor ---, 24, ---
Your step falters, hand quickly grabbing the edge of the table beside you to right yourself, and you glare at the bolt that slides across the floor. It was a gear, its notches broken and chipped. Heimerdinger hums a light tune under his breath, continuing on his way. He didn’t see you almost fall, didn’t see your eyes narrow and glare at the page in hand before cursing under your breath.
Shivering, you tilt your head to the side and turn the paper over. The back was filled with an array of the named Patrons, Investors, Mages, anyone who could take a beneficiary.
In italicised gold ink, was your name.
Frowning, you glare at Heimerdinger, who continued to make his way to the main room. Perhaps he thought only two rows was enough to look at, he knew what you were here for, after all.
“I’m done here,” you grumble, turning to leave before Heimerdinger shouts your name, walking quickly down the aisle to meet you once more. Gaze stern, he regards you with a frown, “you just got here, I refuse to let you leave.”
“That’s called kidnapping,” you scoff, trying to walk past, but the Yordle stands in your way.
“You’re hardly a child, yet with the way you’re acting right now- I can hardly tell the difference.”
You fake a gasp, placing your free hand onto your chest.
“Heimerdinger, you insult me.”
He ignores you, “you must meet some of the candidates before you leave, who knows- you might find who you’re looking for!”
Sighing deeply, you refuse to look at him, instead turning back around and to stare at the open doors that await you on the other side of the room. You could faintly hear the music that floods through, glasses clinking together as connections are made.
Dropping onto your haunches, you feel your jacket fold behind your knees, puddling around you. His eyes briefly widen, before his hands rest on his hips, beginning to tap against the tiles.
Holding out the paper, you tap the front, finger brushing along the parchment right next to each name.
“See these? The names, small descriptions of what they’ve brought?” His eyes flicker, and you can see the gears turning, before he sighs.
“I do, my dear.”
“What is here that will thrive under my apprenticeship?” Heimerdinger's eyebrows relax, the fur atop his lip drooping slightly. He seems to fully deflate for a moment, and then a spark ignites, and he's set alight with a new vigor.
“If you give a plant no water, will it grow? If you simply look at an unfinished project, how will it come to fruition? You must work for it,” your name is softly spoken, a hand gently placed onto yours.
“Ha,” you laugh, sarcastic, shaking your head and dropping your arms to rest on bent knees.
“If I wanted to water a plant, I wouldn’t be here.”
Sighing, he steps closer to grab your free hand once more, his other coming to gently pat the top.
He was so kind, so gentle with the people around him. All bright colors and curious nature, a mirror to you. Dark colors, disinterested eyes and almost permanent frown.
“Each human is different from the next, you simply have to talk to them. Gage what they want to pursue, and go from there. You’ll find what you’re looking for faster that way, you know.”
Grumbling, you throw him a glare. Standing, you brush off the front of your pants, and turn towards the room once more. Some of the attendees regarded you with curious looks, whispering to their partner while making room for you and Heimerdinger. Others stared with wide eyes, clutching their drink to their chest.
The room itself was beautiful, an open space once used to present statues and large art pieces. They were moved away, replaced with small tables full of small, bite sized, foods and flutes of champagne. Large windows covered the wall to your right, letting in the sun. Thick, red velvet curtains framed them, golden tassels holding the fabric open. Some were cracked, letting in the clean city air.
There was a brief moment you hoped you wouldn’t be recognized, but your attire and companion gave you away entirely.
Piltover was the city of progress, its people dressing as such. With bright colors of gold and white, displaying their house sigils proudly on their own attire, all sparkling and proudly presenting themselves. You didn’t have a house here, didn’t have a name, you didn’t wear Piltover's colors. Keeping your gaze forwards, you try to ignore their intrusive gazes.
The room itself was chilly, and you reached to pull your jacket tighter around you. It was a deep blue, silver threading and embellishments decorating the front and back. It reached down to your boots, the material slightly billowing behind you as you walked.
You make your way to the edge of the room, and politely smile at a few young faces who continue to stare. Wearing the academy uniform, you wonder if Heimerdinger would recognize them, but the student body was much too vast now to remember each new face. They each blush, quickly turning back to whoever they were talking to while walking away. Soon, it was only you and Heimerdinger, who continued to smile like nothing was wrong.
“Why are they looking at me like that?” You ask softly, hands clasping behind your back, paper still in hand.
Heimerdinger chuckles, “you’re rarely seen in the city, and you wonder why everyone is so curious?”
“I hate being a spectacle,” grumbling, you turn to look at anything else. Trying to ignore the lingering gazes, the whispers that include your name.
“Maybe,” he gasps, “you should visit more! Oh, now wouldn’t that just be lovely?”
Scowling, you glare, shifting your stance to hiss under your breath, “oh, you’d like that wouldn't you? You little demon.”
He laughs to himself, waving you off, “you just might come to adore the city the longer you frequent. The City of Progress is ever changing, my dear.”
Ignoring him, you try and make out the faces from one another. Some councilors were present, all with a champagne flute in hand as they talked to academy students, other investors, even potential partners that could benefit for their own gain.
One boy, though, all smiling and bright eyed, continued to talk with a small group of students. The one who caught your eye, though, wore the silver medal of second place around his neck. He had a small device in hand, twisting and maneuvering it around to explain to the others how it functioned. Dark hair pushed back haphazardly, tan skin that seemed to glow under the light, he was a handsome young man.
“What of Jayce-“ you squint, “Jayce Talis?”
Heimerdinger makes a questioning sound, following your line of sight before whistling, the end trailing off, “The beneficiary of House Kiramman, I’m afraid.”
“Hm, not swayable, then?”
He only waves you off, “he seems to be prospering under their care- what of Ekko and Powder?” he’s pointing to a young duo opposite Jayces' group. Sitting at one of the small tables, drinks untouched. They were consumed in a hushed conversation, both staring inquisitively down at an open notebook. Short blue hair stopping just under her shoulders, the young girl bites at her nails. The dress she wore was violet, flowing just past her knees. It matched the pink stripe in her hair perfectly.
The boy, though, was in an academy uniform, white hair pulled away from his face. Dark skin, kind eyes, his leg tapping anxiously.
“Ekko and Powder?” You parrot, and Heimerdinger makes a noise in the back of his throat.
“Best not to separate them,” he stops short, quickly recovering “They work well in tandem, bouncing off each other as if they were small balls of energy. You’d find most progress with both.”
That wouldn’t do; you sigh. Looking back to Jayce’s group, you briefly meet his eyes. A bright hazel that shimmered with energy. He falters in what he was saying, eyes darting between you and Heimerdinger before he frantically looks back to one of his friends. Sighing, you kiss along your teeth. There was no shaking the eyes you would spot in the crowd, clinging to you. They would quickly disappear, blushing and whispering. This part, you hated the most. All the people, staring and whispering. It made you feel small, scrutinized under them. Were some of them judging you for arriving late? Were they wondering when you’d accept a new apprentice? Closing your eyes, you try to level yourself. It wouldn’t do you any good to drag yourself through turmoil.
“You mentioned a number of them requested an audience?”
“Ah!” he jumps, clapping his hands once, before scurrying away and into the crowd.
You tried to keep yourself steady as student after student was brought to you. Some were smiling, blushing as they offered you their hand politely. The conversations were dragging, them speaking of their ambitions and dreams before being silenced by your raised hand. Some would grow teary, words dying off like the light in their eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you’d smile, a sympathetic tone wrapping your rejection, “Your ambitions, although bright, do not align with what I’m looking for.”
Some took it better than others, shaking your hand once before departing with disappointed faces and sagging shoulders. Heimerdinger would throw you a glare, ask what was wrong with them, if you were doing it just for spite. Each time, you’d shrug, “they cannot give me what I need, Heimerdinger.”
One girl was promising, Sky Young. She dazzled you with her beauty, crossing her arms and smiling brightly. She had freckles that covered her full cheeks when she spoke, glasses that reflected a dreary image of you. Life danced across her face with each word she spoke, a desire to discover, to create. She offered to show you her ideas, what she had brought as her entry. Her smile didn’t falter when you declined, and for once, you could feel hope dance its way between your ribs.
Until she mentioned her schooling, and how she’d want to continue innovating and creating.
With a heavy heart, you reluctantly rejected her. She took it respectfully, dipping her head.
“I have one more idea, although he did not request an audience,” he sighed, before he departed once more. For, hopefully, the final time tonight.
Towards the two hour mark, you find yourself standing with your eyes closed, listening to your own breathing and the chatter of conversation around you. The windows had been closed, the sun shining directly through and casting shadows of people along the floor. The music was a repeat of around ten songs, you discovered, and on the seventh song you heard Heimerdinger approaching, the distinctive tapping of a cane following.
My dear!” Heimerdinger sings, stopping to stand between you both. Smiling forcefully, you ignore the onsetting headache as you look over the man in front of you. Loose pants on long slender legs, a vest that clung to a lithe waist. Fingers that gripped a golden medal, and the pommel of a cane. The ladder made your skin prickle.
Eyes scanning higher, gliding over the grey tie that fits his throat, brown hair that almost curls around his ears, and dazzling honey gold eyes that stare back at you with unwavering certainty. Shoulders relaxed, the man seemed to be studying you as well.
“This is Viktor-“ drowning out his voice, you bite down on your tongue. Heat builds across your back, sharp claws digging into your skin to drag its way over your shoulders. Fatigue deep within your bones, you clasp your hands behind your back.
“A pleasure, truly. Madam?” He smiles, it doesn't reach his eyes.
Speaking your name plainly, you tilt your head, eyes narrowed, “congratulations on first place. I don’t remember seeing you in attendance last time I was here, are you a new student?”
“Viktor has been my assistant for some time, working under my watchful eye while he completes his studies. Though, he’s one of my top students!”
A hum, and you decide to look at anything but the man in front of you. Stomach turning, you wished for a drink. No doubt, if you could drink the bubbling champagne, you would’ve had five glasses by now. Your head moves towards the windows and when your eyes catch the light, Viktor catches a flash of red tint. He almost shivers, smile wavering and as quickly as you look away, you’re back to watching him intently.
“Your patron must be proud, working under Heimerdinger personally.”
He waves you off, and Heimerdinger gives you a curious look, gloved hands clasping in front of him, “Viktor has no patron, dear friend.”
Eyebrows rising, you look back at the younger, who was glancing at the painting behind you. Pushing the wings of your coat open, you slide your cold hands into your pockets, paper still in hand. It was folded, now hidden away. You skim your finger over one of four points, pressing it into the pad of your index before retreating.
“You’ve no patron? Can I ask why?”
It was a first, seeing someone so young without the guidance of a Patron. Every one you had met, were almost all students. They each were vying for one, asking for guidance to help with their research. Viktor, though, had seemingly made it far enough by himself.
Hands boxing his vest, he only shrugs, “Eh,” he hums, “I find it more fulfilling to work by myself. I simply assist the professor with miniscule tasks when needed.”
You wince, “I apologize on his behalf, then.”
“You insult me! Viktor works diligently and without complaint, thank you,” Heimerdinger gasps, crossing his arms.
The pair of you chuckle, and before you stop yourself, you find a smile curling around your features, “I commend you, I can barely stay around him for too long before i get a headache.”
“Have you known the Professor long? You speak as if you’re close?”
Your smile falls, and Viktor wonders if he’s spoken out of line. A melancholy look floods your features, and you look to Heimerdinger, “I’ve known him almost my whole life. He’s been a close confidant to me in my times of need, surely as his assistant, you can agree?”
“I can, his guidance has helped me with my personal work.”
“Any success?” You can feel the answer already swelling between you both, and with a disappointed shake of his head, Viktor tenses his shoulders, “Only on paper, the council deems experimentation ‘too soon’”
A small bout of anger pools in your chest, such a brilliant mind, condemned to a rigorous routine of theory after theory, faux solution; one after the other to show a group of councillors, not even proficient in the field of study, what they deem to be ‘safe’. How has such a promising city made so much progress, if minds such as his were forced to sit patiently?
“Isn’t the city of progress supposed to encourage, I don’t know- progress?” Rolling your shoulders back, you give Heimerdinger a pointed look.
“Safety must always come first, dear friend! Not everyone can go into their back yard and ignite an explosion.” He shoots an equally devious expression your way. Viktor clears his throat, shooting Heimerdinger a warning glance. You smirk, and with a tilt of your head you ask teasingly, “have you blown something up, Viktor?”
“My work can sometimes cause an unwanted chain reaction, It’s not as if I want to cause an explosion.”
“‘Sometimes’? Do you regularly almost blow up buildings? What does your work entail for you, hm?”
Cheeks burning, Viktor avoids your eyes, silently cursing the professor for bringing up the select few times an experiment went awry.
“I want to help the people who need it most, and end the suffering of the common person. My work includes basic machines and tools that could make everyday life more simple, like mine-workers. Why let outdated, faulty machines cause more suffering, when something more reliable and simple can help?”
You're smiling, looking down quickly to slide the toe of your boot across the tiles. It's brief, but it allows you to gather your thoughts, “that’s certainly an ambition.”
“Reminds me of someone, no?” Heimerdinger nudges your leg, and you wave him away. Viktor’s eyes roam your features, “You’re also a scientist?”
“I… used to be, when I was young. Now, I simply provide the necessary equipment for the work to continue. Of course, I oversee it, but I refrain from interfering.” Sliding your hands from your pockets, you flip the now crumpled piece of paper through your fingers.
“Her apprentices thrive, my boy. You should see the work others have accomplished with the tools she offers!.”
“An apprenticeship?” Viktor looked slightly confused, nose scrunching as he shifted his footing to settle more comfortably. Silent, you nod. Knowingly, you refrained from saying anything else. Your neck was starting to hurt, back aching from standing in one place for so long.
You could have walked around, mingled with others. Yet, what good would it do? Talking with polite faces that would only speak willfully of you behind your back, fake laughter and fake bonding that would, truly, get you nowhere in this society.
You’d much rather suffer the consequences of stagnation when Viktor looked at you with unhidden emotion. He didn’t try to cover them up with indifference. He bares his emotions without vulnerability, how his eyes narrow and eyebrows furrow, how his nose scrunches in annoyance, how his lips tilt in barely-hidden amusement. You can see it all flicker across his face, moments in time captured by another person’s eyes. It's familiar, you realize, how simple humans truly could be.
“Mm,” you scrunch your face, not liking the term so carelessly thrown around, “I call it a beneficial agreement.”
“Have you found any success?” Viktor retorts, smiling softly at the way you soften in disappointment. Much like his own, you yearn for a solution.
“I have not, my previous apprentice made great advances in his research. He had a great mind, I wish to find one similar.”
Your friend, though, deemed it a perfect time to raise his own voice, “Would something like that interest you, my boy? I theorize your research would thrive much more with her, rather than me.”
Ice water, poured directly over your head.
“Heimerdinger-“
“Professor-“
Honey gold meets yours, and you promptly raise a hand. It’s familiar how you both regard each other. Too comfortable, you were the one who had to cut it here.
“While I appreciate the gesture,” a warning issued within the group, blaring red, “I cannot find it within myself to consider someone who isn’t interested in the slightest.”
Viktor bites his cheek. Was he interested? He was secure with his position as Heimerdinger's assistant, yet the idea of being able to thrive in his field without watchful eyes sounded very appealing. Even Heimerdinger himself seemed thrilled at the idea of such a position for him.
“Who said I wasn’t interested?”
Kissing your teeth, taking a small step backwards, hand settling itself back at your side.
“Even if you were, I’d have to politely decline.”
Viktor, for once, finds himself at a loss for words. It’s like you’ve completely changed within the second Heimerdinger mentioned the possibility of him working under you.
“Decline? Miss,“ Heimerdinger steps closer, but you send a glare his way. It doesn’t hinder his stubbornness, “Viktor is more than qualified to take on the responsibility!”
“He isn’t-“ you stop short, head tilting as you look him over; Mulling over words that could express how against this you truly were. You look at his shoes, his cane, his chest, and finally his eyes. Curious and inviting, so alive with ambition and determination.
“He isn’t the right fit.”
Heimerdinger almost laughs, “Right fit? Viktor is my assistant, he has enough determination and willpower to climb the ranks of Piltover! Where others would falter, Viktor thrives. Even with his first time attending, the boy has won first place!”
A sense of pride, Viktor smiles, but your huff of annoyance at the statement makes the emotion fade.
“You’re correct, He’s the assistant to the dean of the academy, doing just fine for himself, as you say.”
“He could be much more, and you know this just as well as I do.”
The beginning of an argument is swelling, both Heimerdinger and you sharing glares and scowls. You’ve taken to crossing your arms, all but ignoring Viktor to turn your attention to the Yordle. Top lip twitching, Heimerdinger almost stomps his foot, “must you make things so difficult?”
You laugh, hands rubbing harshly at your eyes, sarcastically smiling, “first place doesn’t really mean anything, his ambition is too straight forward-”
“My ambition has gotten me this far, miss. If I was willing, I could get farther.”
“So you agree?” gaze narrow, you turn to him with sternness, “you choose to stay stagnant in your current position?”
It's his turn to flare with annoyance, and his eyebrows furrow, “No, I choose to benefit from my current position.”
“The boy is learning, absorbing the information that he gets his hands on. Working under you, he would be exposed to a plethora of material- he would rise higher than he ever could working under me.”
You raise a hand, and suddenly Heimerdinger breathes a heavy sigh, “Viktor, you have a brilliant mind, and a unique outlook. Yet, you do not fit the qualification I’ve set for the position.”
“My dear-” you pointedly glared, and he fell silent, “I wish you the best of luck in your research, now if you’ll excuse me gentleman, I have overstayed my welcome.”
Ignoring the calls of your name, you make your way back to the front of the building. Someone tries to step in your path, but with a tilt of your shoulder you easily slide past them, shortly turning them down with a not-so-pleasant glare.
You had lost yourself in how easy-going it was to converse with Viktor, almost forgetting why you were there in the first place. In reality, he was the most promising individual you’ve come across. Yet, you couldn’t find it within yourself to take him from the place he thrives most. He wanted to change the city for the better, pursuing actual innovation. How could Heimerdinger cast upon you the decision to ask him to leave his home? To cast aside his well earned position?
Your carriage was still waiting patiently among the others. The sun was starting to set, casting golden rays through the trees that lined the street. There was a man on stilts slowly walking down the street, lighting the lamps that stood tall. The footman smiles when seeing you, opening the door and offering you his hand.
Settling yourself down in the uncomfortable seating, you look over the paper, crumpled and folded one to many times. The edges were worn with your fiddling, and slowly you unfold it to look over the seemingly never ending list of names.
First place, Viktor —-
There's a small sliding door that sits between you and the coachman, a little bigger than the size of your hand. Silver hinges with small ornate detailing, and a matching silver latch that swung side to side during the bumpy rides. It slides open smoothly, green eyes and white bushy eyebrows gaze back with a softness akin to a grandfather.
“Where to, my lady?”
Clearing your throat, swallowing thickly, you toss the paper onto the seat beside you. Relaxing, you breathe deeply and take one final look at the museum, “take me home.”
“As you wish, my lady”
------
Your home was large enough to house a great family, yet only you remained. The halls were dark, two wings once occupied with life. Now, only a few rooms from each were used. The library was full of unread books, your laboratory untouched by your hands for years. Your office was where you mainly resided. In front of the windows that climbed up to your ceiling, filling the room with dimmed light that cascaded over the misty hills. The estate's walls were cold, its occupants bundling with layers to defend themselves from sickness. You’ve grown used to it, but your staff still wandered around with pink noses and thick shawls.
One member of the staff, Miss Aleena, was one of the few who remained. Her grey eyes regarded you with warmth, wrinkles and tired smile showing her years. She was slower, yet still refused to rest. She continued with her work day after day, and sometimes kept you company during her downtime. She made her way around your office easily, stepping over thrown books and crumpled pieces of paper. All to set a wine glass on your desk, though what filled it was not wine.
“Three animals today, my lady. Deer, fox, or rabbit?”
You hum, still gazing at the rolling hills. The glass was held together with silver framing, a thick set of curtains hanging from the ceiling and pooling on the carpeted floor. Holding out your hand, you wait until she picks the glass back up to set it into your hand. The surface was painted with flowers, all faded. You lift it to your nose, sniffing once before grimacing.
“Rabbit.”
She chuckles, reaching out to tap your cheek. You almost wave her away, but these were moments you rarely receive. To have another person touch you, human warmth was like no other.
Spinning in your chair, you set the glass back down and slouch, rubbing harshly at your eyes. Miss Aleena makes her way to the chair that sits in front of your desk, slowly descending with a huff. She doesn’t say anything, rarely does. Instead, she lets you fill the silence with whatever words you want. Her hair, salt and pepper, was pulled back from her slim face. Grey eyes comforting as they watch you, never judging.
“I’m not thirsty.”
You were lying, of course. The churning of your stomach was the dead give away, and she raises an eyebrow at you in retort. Slowly, you reach out to grab the glass once more, raising it to take a small sip.
Blood tastes different with each animal. Rabbit, for example, was sweeter than deer, yet more tart than fox. It starts as a treat, warm and inviting, until you swallow and are greeted with the kick at the end. Wincing, you groan. Shivering at the taste, you take another small drink. It was never good to drink too much at a time, you’ve learned the hard way.
“I don’t know why the gods forsake me,” you grumble, “I ask for a simple thing. One thing, yet time and time again I’m rejected and turned away. Something is always blocking this path, and for whatever reason, I cannot get past it.”
“Maybe it’s something you shouldn't pursue,” her timid voice responds, and you shake your head. Center of your lips stained red, you cross your legs.
“Do you know what it's like to live for 800 years?”
She smiles, “I know what it’s like for 73.”
“Its a living torture,” you smirk, and she hums. “I cannot sleep, cannot eat or drink what you do. I cannot fall in love, I cannot feel happiness-”
“And why is that, my lady?”
You huff, chest squeezing, “it is a fleeting thing, happiness, love. A human can love their entire life, and feel fulfilled by the end. Humans have the pleasure of an ending, while I live in a purgatory specifically designed for me. No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot die.”
You take another drink, looking over the small pile of papers still left on your desk. Requests and letters signed with black ink mock you, the dates in the top corners taunting.
“Tell me, then,” she requests, “when you’ve fallen in love.”
The question makes your shoulders tense, flashes of memories blinking past your eyes. Years upon years of memories, yet they all boil down to moments in your life.
“I-” you clear your throat, “I can’t remember what love feels like. I suppose feelings fade with time,” you look down into your glass, your reflection staring back.
Miss Aleena sighs, “my dear, I may not be as old as you, but I am still old. I know what love looks like,” she stands from her chair, brushing off the front of her dress.
“Indulge me, what does it look like?”
“It looked like that gleam in your eyes, my lady.”
Head tilting, you watch a smile creep across her face. Chuckling, you rub your thumb along the top of your hand, cold as always. Miss Aleena reached out, gesturing to your almost empty cup, “would you like a refill?”
You shake your head, and watch as she turns to make your way back to the door. Spinning, you turn your gaze back to the misty hills, how the sun tries to break through, and tries to wrap a golden blanket around the trees that border your land.
“Maybe I should just have you find me someone.”
Miss Aileena laughed, old and tired, she sounded like her mother, “I think that’s a terrible idea.”
“How so? You’re a great observer, and you follow my instructions without retort!”
“I don’t know much about science, my lady. If I were to bring someone in, you would find something inadequate.”
She was right, and you knew it.
The door opens, and a male voice clears his throat. You almost groan, instead you rest your elbow on the arm of your chair, supporting your head on a clenched fist.
“My lady?” It was Benedict, who’s voice matched his appearance. Silky and smooth, all fine cursive lines that dance across his body. You can hear his smile as he looks at Miss Aleena.
“Ah, hello nana,” he says softly, before the door creaks and he coughs.
“What is it, Benedict?” Nails tapping, your head rolls to rest against the chair. His body straightens, green eyes roaming over your desk. His cheeks were pink, and he sniffled before speaking.
“You have a visitor- I told him you didn’t take guests, but he was very adamant on seeing you.”
Your tongue lightly grazes your canines, feeling the sharp points. You can barely remember the last time you used them, opting for your kitchen to hunt and gather your drinks.
They, your hunter, would leave in the morning when the dew still clung to the grass. They’d gather enough animals to last the following week, put them in the freezer, and then go back to their home in the village. Of course, you offered housing here, but it only took them one look at the vine covered rocks to politely decline.
“How adamant?” You tease, hearing Benedict huff, his clothes rustling.
“He said he wouldn’t leave until he had an audience with you.”
“Hm,” you muse, using your foot to sway the chair back and forth slightly.
“Let him in, then”
Benedict nods, shaggy hair falling in front of his eyes as he backs from the room, heavy steps receding down the hallway. Miss Aileen��s heels click across the wood as she crosses the room, picking books up from the floor and setting them gently back onto your desk.
It takes a moment, but soon you can hear the incoming tap of a cane, and the hushed voices from beyond your closed door.
Hair raising, you refuse to turn in your chair as the door opens once more. Tensing, you can feel your chest clench until his voice tears through the room- assertive and commanding.
“You have to have a certain kind of nerve to accuse me of not being qualified enough to work under you.”
Your hand drops from your chin, hanging over the arm. Finger running across the tips of your nails, you refrain from sighing.
“What are you doing here, Viktor?”
“I simply find it unacceptable to push me aside and call me unqualified to work under you simply because of my status and ability to do what is required,” his tone is accusatory, anger surrounding him. Slowly, you find your eyebrows furrowing. Your head drops to the side, and you look at him from over your shoulder, chair slightly turned as to not hurt your neck.
His cheeks are flushed, eyebrows pinched together in anger as he leans against his cane. Miss Aileen stands to the side, eyes wide as she looks at him. His golden eyes falter when they meet yours, flickering between your dazzling gaze. When you turn the chair more, the sun that barely peaks through the clouds catches them, red shining through briefly.
It makes him shiver, how predatory your gaze was.
“Miss Aileen, please give us the room,” you don’t break eye contact, instead turning the chair so you face him fully. It gives him the charm to look you over, from your relaxed attire to the red tint that stains your lips.
Makeup? No, he thinks, your attire betrays the need for makeup. You were home, relaxed enough to not find the need for it. Eyes flicker to the desk, landing on the almost empty glass.
Ah, the wine.
“Say again?”
He huffs, feeling that anger flare in his stomach and he stands tall once more, why was he here? He didn’t quite know, following that gut instinct to follow you and prove that he was right for the role he still knew nothing about.
“I have worked too hard to get where I am today to simply be pushed aside due to prejudice from a person whom I’ve never even met-“
“You think prejudice is the reason for my rejection?” There’s a flicker of disappointment, a sadness that festers behind it. You sigh, rubbing at your eyes before sitting up in your chair, “Viktor, listen,” your voice is softer this time, sharp edge dulled.
“You want to create things, bring goodness to the world. My task is the complete opposite-“
“How can you come to that conclusion when you haven’t even asked me for my opinion on the matter? For a scientist, you come to conclusions rather abruptly.”
Shoulders sagging, you reach out and grasp your wine glass, the thick liquid-
Thick liquid?
Viktor watches as you take a sip, the sides of the glass stained a deep ruby red as it settles back at the bottom. It’s crimson, shining in the light and the true answer to what sits in the glass whispers itself in his ear softly.
“Is that blood?”
You smile, a sad tilt of lips, raising the glass in a congratulation before setting it back down. You push yourself from the chair, silk gown dancing around you like a breeze, it makes it seem like you are floating, gliding your way around the desk to lean against it.
“If it is? What would you do, Viktor?”
His breath catches in his throat, and he mulls over what he could possibly say.
“If I told you, my life goes against the natural order, would you believe me?”
Your hands brace behind you, feet crossing at the ankles as you regard him with a glint in your eyes. You're assessing him. Watching as his eyes flicker around you, watch as he tenses, jaw clenching. Watch as his hand grips the pommel of his cane just a little tighter, how he leans away from you.
“Since you think yourself qualified, I’ll give you my symptoms and you come up with a theory as to what I am cursed with,” you spit the words. Viktor finds himself nodding, going against his own natural order as you push away from the desk. Making your way to the tall book shelf that lined the walls, your fingers skin across the fabric spines of book after book. Shoes muted by the carpet, you move silently.
“I cannot sleep, I cannot get sick, from what you’ve just noticed; I drink blood.” Slowing, you curl your finger around the top of a book, pulling it gently from its place. It was almost fully black, silver edging flaking off. A red piece of ribbon, frayed at the end, was hanging from the top edge. A book mark ready for use, he guessed.
“I live longer than normal humans, and I cannot die.”
Silence, and you refrain from moving from the wall of books. You seem to fit in perfectly, a timeless beauty. Yet, as he looks away to gaze back at the cup of blood, he sighs.
“Common, Viktor,” you whisper, teasing, “you were so vocal earlier. What happened?”
“I shouldn’t have come here,” he murmurs, taking a step back because now you’re right in front of him. Holding that book out for him to take, “no, you shouldn’t have. Now, you have to face the consequences of your own pride.”
Hesitant, he takes the book, looking over the cover and when he registers the words sewn into the fabric he almost laughs.
“A vampire?”
“Mm,” you hum, crossing your arms as you make your way back to your desk, leaning back. He tilts the book, letting it fall open to a random page. He briefly reads over it, pictures hand drawn, cursive words in a foreign language underneath. The paper was tinged yellow, wrinkled on the edges like it’d been thrown into a bath of water and then dried again.
“An immortal scientist passing down knowledge through their apprentices, what an ambition,” he mocks your words, snapping the book shut and looking back up. You’re frowning, and after turning your upper body to grab the glass, you twist it to allow the little remaining liquid to coat the sides. Faded blue flowers in front of a wave of blood, you don't look at him anymore, shoulders slumped.
“I don’t teach them, I simply have a task for them to complete. In return, they’re given access to my abundance of gathered knowledge.”
“And what is this task I’m so unqualified for, exactly?”
“Viktor,” you sigh, eyes closing. He can feel his chest squeeze, and he breathes deeply before continuing, “how do you know I’m unwilling to help you?”
“Help me? Viktor, if you had the opportunity to create death, would you?”
“Death?” His eyebrows furrow, and when you nod he can slowly see the pieces falling into place. The book feels heavy in hand, his thumb gently rubbing across the indented words that title the front.
The Known Ways Of Vanquishing A Vampire
“I want to die, and I cannot touch the tools that will create it. I need someone to do it for me, so I’ll ask again; if you had the opportunity to create death, would you?”
His brain tells him to decline. His whole life, he’s sworn to help people survive. To bring them longer life, to cure them of the hindrance that plagues them. Yet, his gut urges him to look at you. To see what you truly looked like, he can see your fatigue. He can see how your shoulders slouch, how slow you really move. To others, you were a monster. A demon who comes at night to drink their bodies dry. To him, in the moment, he simply saw a woman cursed. Forever to wander, never to truly rest.
“Are you suffering?” His voice is quiet. Lips lifting, you nod once, “yes, Viktor.”
Fingers tapping once against his cane, his gut overrides his brain, and he speaks his decision into the air with a stern voice.
“Then I will help you.”
Although there’s hesitation clinging to you, you speak with a soft voice, “let’s get started then, shall we?”
Want to be tagged? comment or send a message! ill gladly tag you <3
#viktor x reader#arcane x reader#viktor imagines#viktor arcane x reader#arcane#viktor arcane#fluff#angst#The Apprentice#HwaWrites#arcane imagine#viktor x you
63 notes
·
View notes